Archive for December, 2009

>Hidden but Conscious Revenge

5

>Did you see the news headline this morning about Sarah Palin’s vacation-wear? Apparently, she was filmed by the paparazzi wearing a sun visor with her former Presidential running mate’s name blacked out! As if her book, Going Rogue, had not spurned enough of her political foes in a backhanded way, now she’s blacking out McCain’s name with a Sharpie, for all of the world’s cameras to see! This is classic passive aggressive revenge, accompanied by all of the hallmark excuses that justify, rationalize, and excuse her behavior. Here’s her statement:

“I am so sorry if people took this silly incident the wrong way. I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection. As everyone knows, I was honored and proud to run with him. And Todd and I were with him in D.C. just a week ago. So much for trying to be incognito.”

“Incognito?” Seriously? That’s the best excuse she can come up with? It’s almost like she’s not even trying to cover up her resentment… Her and Tiger Woods have got to know that they will be filmed everywhere they go! There is no “incognito” as she keeps making public moves like this one!

This Blog is made to laugh about the hilariously conniving lengths that people are willing to go to to express their hidden anger; when I saw the news this morning, I knew it couldn’t get more funny–or more passive aggressive–than Palin’s searing political statement!

>Hidden but Conscious Revenge

942

>Did you see the news headline this morning about Sarah Palin’s vacation-wear? Apparently, she was filmed by the paparazzi wearing a sun visor with her former Presidential running mate’s name blacked out! As if her book, Going Rogue, had not spurned enough of her political foes in a backhanded way, now she’s blacking out McCain’s name with a Sharpie, for all of the world’s cameras to see! This is classic passive aggressive revenge, accompanied by all of the hallmark excuses that justify, rationalize, and excuse her behavior. Here’s her statement:

“I am so sorry if people took this silly incident the wrong way. I adore John McCain, support him 100 percent and will do everything I can to support his reelection. As everyone knows, I was honored and proud to run with him. And Todd and I were with him in D.C. just a week ago. So much for trying to be incognito.”

“Incognito?” Seriously? That’s the best excuse she can come up with? It’s almost like she’s not even trying to cover up her resentment… Her and Tiger Woods have got to know that they will be filmed everywhere they go! There is no “incognito” as she keeps making public moves like this one!

This Blog is made to laugh about the hilariously conniving lengths that people are willing to go to to express their hidden anger; when I saw the news this morning, I knew it couldn’t get more funny–or more passive aggressive–than Palin’s searing political statement!

>Five Levels of Passive Aggressive Behavior

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>In The Angry Smile, we define five distinct and increasingly pathological levels of passive aggression:

Level 1: Temporary Compliance, in which the passive aggressive person verbally complies with a request, but behaviorally delays acting on it. Temporary compliance is the most common form of passive aggressive behavior and sounds something like, “I’m cooooooming!”

Level 2: Intentional Inefficiency, in which the passive aggressive person complies with a request, but carries it out in an unacceptable manner. Intentional Inefficiency looks something like my husband unloading the dishwaser by putting everything out on the counter and claiming, “I wasn’t sure where these went!”

Level 3: Letting a Problem Escalate, in which the passive aggressive person uses inaction to allow a forseeable problem to escalate and takes pleasure in the resulting anguish. Passive aggressive kids are at this level when they return a car with an empty gas tank, even when they know their parent will be late for work if they have to stop for gas.

Level 4: Hidden but Conscious Revenge, in which the passive aggressive person makes a deliberate decision–and takes hidden action–to get back at someone. This more serious level could involve stealing field trip money from the purse of a teacher who they feel has mistreated them, sabotaging the presentation of a colleague who they feel was unfairly promoted over them, or slashing the tires of a resented step-father’s car.

Level 5: Self-depreciation, in which a passive aggressive person goes to self-destructive lengths to seek vengeance. From the teenager who dyes his hair blue before a college interview to the girl who starves herself to get back at her demanding father, this level is the most pathological…and usually not great fodder for “funny” stories.

In The Angry Smile, we document passive aggressive behaviors at each level, across home, school, relationship & workplace settings.

What examples do you have of passive aggression at these levels?

>Five Levels of Passive Aggressive Behavior

712

>In The Angry Smile, we define five distinct and increasingly pathological levels of passive aggression:

Level 1: Temporary Compliance, in which the passive aggressive person verbally complies with a request, but behaviorally delays acting on it. Temporary compliance is the most common form of passive aggressive behavior and sounds something like, “I’m cooooooming!”

Level 2: Intentional Inefficiency, in which the passive aggressive person complies with a request, but carries it out in an unacceptable manner. Intentional Inefficiency looks something like my husband unloading the dishwaser by putting everything out on the counter and claiming, “I wasn’t sure where these went!”

Level 3: Letting a Problem Escalate, in which the passive aggressive person uses inaction to allow a forseeable problem to escalate and takes pleasure in the resulting anguish. Passive aggressive kids are at this level when they return a car with an empty gas tank, even when they know their parent will be late for work if they have to stop for gas.

Level 4: Hidden but Conscious Revenge, in which the passive aggressive person makes a deliberate decision–and takes hidden action–to get back at someone. This more serious level could involve stealing field trip money from the purse of a teacher who they feel has mistreated them, sabotaging the presentation of a colleague who they feel was unfairly promoted over them, or slashing the tires of a resented step-father’s car.

Level 5: Self-depreciation, in which a passive aggressive person goes to self-destructive lengths to seek vengeance. From the teenager who dyes his hair blue before a college interview to the girl who starves herself to get back at her demanding father, this level is the most pathological…and usually not great fodder for “funny” stories.

In The Angry Smile, we document passive aggressive behaviors at each level, across home, school, relationship & workplace settings.

What examples do you have of passive aggression at these levels?

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