Archive for February, 2012

“Bully” Documentary Director Talks About his Film, The MPAA Rating, and Changing the Lives of Kids in Need

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I was trying to think of a few sage words to introduce this film clip about the new documentary “Bully“…but it’s pretty clear that this interview speaks for itself. 

Straightforward Advice from Rosalind Wiseman on Taking a Stand Against Bullying

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I love this article.  I love this writer.  I love the simple, straightforward advice she gives to parents to take a stand against bullying–even when it’s easier not to and/or less embarrassing for their kids if they just let bad behavior slide.  I want to be Rosalind Wiseman when I grow up.  Check it out:


http://familycircle.com/momster/blog/its-never-ok-to-say-gay-when-you-really-mean-stupid

 

Moral of the story: be a champion for children!

Yes, in the moment when we speak out, we will absolutely embarrass children. In the short term, they won’t like us one bit for getting involved. But it’s only in these moments that our kids see evidence of what our values look like in action, that they really get what’s important to us. They understand that they have a mom or dad who is willing and able to take a public stand when you see people being cruel. That’s a lesson they can take with them for a lifetime.

“Bully” Documentary “R” Rating Appeals Process Continues

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Great article in the Huffington Post today about the MPAA’s denial of the appeal to downgrade the “R” rating for the “Bully” documentary.  Check out the article, watch the trailer (have tissues available!) and sign the petition to help make this film available to the under-17 crowd who can really benefit from its powerful message.

As filmmaker Lee Hirsch says:

We have a responsibility to the more than 13 million youth who are bullied every year in the US to make available this transformative, relevant piece of work.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/26/bully-documentarys-r-rating-parents_n_1302757.html

My BFF is a Total Nightmare: Great Advice from author Rachel Simmons

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On my “To Write” list is an article entitled “What to Do When Your Daughter’s Friend is a Mean Girl.”  I have a classic example to tell and story to share…so hopefully I’ll sit down at some point and get the article written…but in the meantime, check out this great advice from Rachel Simmons on the same topic.

http://www.teenvogue.com/connect/blogs/relationships/2012/02/my-bff-is-a-total-nightmare.html?printable=true

Is Your Child a Limit Tester? 3 Essential Steps for Closing Your Loopholes

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The morning of School Picture Day, my nine-year old neighbor shocked her mother by picking out her own outfit (a mutual favorite), doing her own hair (bangs pulled back away from the eyes) and even selecting shoes that matched (a bonus, even though the school portrait wouldn’t account for this rarity.) On her way out to the bus, she called to her mom, “Is it okay if I bring a little lip gloss for the picture?”

Sometimes in our parenting lives, we look back on certain moments that seemed so innocent — so perfect even — and realize that ignorance truly is bliss.

When the school portrait proofs were sent home one week later, my Mama-friend could still hear the lip-gloss request in the back of her head, though all she could see in the photo proofs were the brightest (I never knew red could be a neon color) and biggest (I’m talking nose to chin) set of painted lips you have never seen in your entire life.

 

To read the rest of this story about limit testing, conflict and effective confrontation, please click here or on the link below to read it on its original home, the HuffingtonPost Parents section. 

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/signe-whitson/is-your-child-a-limit-tes_b_1298761.html

Asking Adults to Tune In & Listen to Kids: The Relate Talk to Us Campaign

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 Check out this newly released video from Relate, the UK’s largest provider of relationship support for couples, families, and kids.  The Relate Talk to Us Campaign is designed to encourage parents to listen well to their kids and to understand the sources of the anger that are driving childrens’ needs for professional help.

 

Relate recently commissioned two surveys–one of counselors and one of young people–to find out what is really bothering our kids.  Click here to read what professionals and kids are saying about the stressors in their lives.

 

The Roots of Bullying Behavior

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“Be kind to unkind people; they often need it the most.”

 

I was reminded of this truism when Tony Shin sent me this infographic on cyberbullying.  While most books, articles, and programs focus (righteously!) on the targets of bullying, his work examines the roots of bullying, calling this a predictable psychological behavior whose roots are usually planted in early childhood.  An interesting perspective.  What do you think?

 

 

 

Cyber Bullying and Social Media
Created by: OnlineCounselingDegrees.net

5 Ways to Parent a Perfectionist

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Do you have a little one who likes to “do things right…” or else just not do them at all?  Check out my article on galtime.com for important tips on how to parent a perfectionist:

 

When I watch my seven-year old daughter agonize over handwriting homework and berate herself for missing one question on her 30-problem math test, I thank the gods of “good enough” that perfectionism was never my thing.  And I ask those same gods for advice on how to help my child overcome her need to be flawless.

If you, too, are the parent of a perfectionist, here are some tips that I have found to be most effective:

1.       Play up personal strengths and play down competitions

In school and at home, my daughter loves to win.  My husband insists that this is a great quality and I know that in many ways, her desire for excellence will serve her well.  Yet I also know that too much of a good thing can be rough, especially for young kids who hold themselves to impossibly high standards.  When my daughter seems singularly focused on being the ‘best” reader in her class or getting the “highest” score in math, we try to re-focus her energies on achieving personal bests and celebrating individual accomplishments instead.  She is visibly calmer and more confident when she attends to her own goals rather than comparing herself to others.

International Bully Prevention E-zine: FREE Issue

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Check out the February Issue of the International Bully Prevention E-zine, chock full of great articles about how to stop bullying in schools and elsewhere among kids.

 

http://www.imgstream.com/KnappStory/2012_02/IBPM_2012_02.html

Sweethearts & Heroes: Effective Strategies to Put an End to Bullying

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Hearing stories day in and day out about bullying among children is enough to make anyone’s heart heavy, but meeting the terrific people who work tirelessly to halt aggression among kids is nothing short of inspiring.  I’ve met quite a few heroes in the last few years, working in this field, but chief among them are the guys from Sweethearts & Heroes, who are bringing their unique, engaging anti-bullying, pro-Hero message to schools all across NY, VT, and beyond.  Please check them out!

 

Sweethearts & Heroes on Facebook

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