Posts tagged assertiveness skills for kids
It’s one thing to write about helping kids make smart choices when it comes to expressing anger — it’s another thing to watch an emotional situation play out right before your eyes and hope that your own child will make a good decision! Last weekend, I took my daughter and her friend to a pizza-n-games type of place. For them, making time for the delicious pizza buffet is like “having” to eat their veggies before they can enjoy dessert; wobbly crane machines and spinning prize wheels are the true delight of the restaurant. (more…)
I had the lovely, lively opportunity to chat with Todd and Laura Mansfield, hosts of Parenting Unplugged, about How To Be Angry and ways parents can teach their kids skills for managing intense emotions. Have 20 minutes? Have a listen…
Have you ever been in a situation where you were so overwhelmed with feelings of anger that you were at a loss for words? You had the presence of mind to know all of the things that you shouldn’t say, but weren’t quite sure how to express your true feelings without damaging your relationship.
Adults often struggle with effectively communicating their angry feelings. For children, this challenge is doubly difficult; kids don’t want to get in trouble for expressing themselves aggressively, but they often lack the skills for communicating assertively.
Parents can help their kids develop specific skills for assertive anger expression. Check out these three strategies, excerpted from, How to Be Angry: An Assertive Anger Expression Group Guide for Kids and Teens.
As sure as kids will go back to school each Fall in the U.S., bullying will be encountered in the classroom each school year. In these early days of August and September classes, would-be bullies are getting a feel for who they think might be an easy mark in the class. As the days wear on and a bully confirms that he or she can pick on specific classmates without their standing up for themselves, the bullying escalates. (more…)
I must admit, I am a big fan of the well-constructed argument from an articulate kid. And this is a great one. I love this teen’s assertive and respectful version of the “you catch more flies with honey…” approach to getting what you want from parents:
Do you know a child who is a little on the timid side when it comes to asking for what he needs? Does the word “pushover” come to mind when you think of how he is treated by his friends? While most kids are unreservedly bold in making and refusing requests from parents and siblings, it is quite common for youth to have difficulty asserting themselves with non-family members. Adults can help kids develop skills to assert important needs and refuse unreasonable requests by teaching fundamental assertiveness skills. (more…)
I wrote it specifically for professionals and parents to help kids learn that having angry feelings does not make you bad; it makes you human. Learning how to effectively cope with and express those feelings in ways that enhance–rather than damage–relationships is the key.
How to Be Angry is packed with discussion-starters, games, and kid-friendly activites to help young people learn how to express their anger in assertive, relationship-building ways. It features two chapters on standing up to bullies, as well as tips on disagreeing without arguing, making and refusing requests, and responding to others’ anger.
I hope you enjoy it…check back and let me know what you think!
Is your child the type to come right out and tell you when he is feeling angry? Does he stuff his anger inside? Perhaps he is most likely to express his feelings in sneaky ways. Or maybe, when he is mad, the whole world knows about it—and better step aside! Whatever your child’s anger style, chances are he has developed it over the years and modeled it after…gulp…much-loved family members.
Take this Anger Styles Quiz to learn about how anger is articulated in your family: (more…)
It was the deer in headlights expression on my daughter’s face that I noticed first. Next, it was the angry finger pointing of a girl I did not know that made me think, “I better go see what park mishap is occurring.” By the time I stood next to the two girls, the other girl had put her finger away but explained to me with great feeling that my daughter had climbed up on the tire swing, even though she had been saving it for her little brother.
While her defense of her little brother was admirable (boy, do I wish my big brother would have stood up for me like that when we were kids!), it was also obvious that her toddler brother—sliding down the kiddie slide with his mother at the other end of (more…)