Four of the most piercing words my daughter has ever said occurred yesterday: “Mama, you’re not listening.” She was trying to tell me her side of a story that I thought I already knew. I was trying to be “SuperMama” and wow her with my quick and mighty problem-solving powers. Silly, superhero. My daughter didn’t want or even need to be saved—she just hoped to be heard.


In my rush to “make it all better,” I neglected two of the most important gifts a parent can offer a child: the opportunity to be listened to and the chance to feel understood. What follows are this superhero’s “quick tips” for slowing down and becoming a better listener: (more…)