>The passive aggressive person lives for indirect expressions of anger and covert acts of aggression;  facing direct confrontation about their feelings and behaviors is among their greatest fears.  On last week’s Season 2 Finale of The Real Housewives of NJ, Caroline causes Danielle to face her worst nightmare when she requests a face-to-face meeting to address the “nonsense” of their tangled family drama:

http://www.hulu.com/embed/hdPoH-D645E1csaOgdvOrQ

Most passive aggressive people have a perception of being chronically mistreated and underappreciated.  They cast themselves in the role of “victim,” which allows them to feel justified in hurting others in passive aggressive ways.  This season, Danielle’s revenge on her housewife cast mates comes primarily through actions toward their children, as Caroline explains in the clip above.  Her season-dominating legal wrangling with Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, is the best example, highlighting the difference between direct aggression (Ashley pulling Danielle’s hair extensions) and passive aggression (Danielle using the media to publicly damage Ashley’s reputation and perjuring herself by claiming that threats were made on her life.)  Danielle also took shots at the other kids throughout the season, including calling Caroline’s son a homosexual slur, and taking this hilarious, snarky shot at Teresa’s children (all under the age of eight):

http://www.hulu.com/embed/4jRECua384SS6QP5YvqMjg/379/397

The Real Housewives of NJ is like the made-for-TV version of The Angry Smile, bringing all of the book’s theory and explanations of passive aggressive behavior to life.  I couldn’t have written a better script–and no one would have believed it if they weren’t seeing it play out on TV each week!  Now, rumor has it that the Bravo network has fired Danielle!  Will there be a third season without the passive aggressive diva? 

I’m a week behind on my TV watching because I was on vacation…must now go watch the DVR’d clip of the Reunion episode.  Has anyone seen it yet?  What passive aggressive minefields am I in for?

If you are interested in reading more about passive aggressive behavior in families and friendships, please check out The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces. While you’re online, please also check out the adorable baby clothes and headbands at My Baby Clothes Boutique. My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide great parenting tips for their customers as a thank you for their loyalty. Check them out next time you need to get a baby gift!

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