>Real World New Orleans Ep. 10 Getting Down, Blowing Up: “The roommates might have finally had enough of Ryan’s inconsiderate behavior.”
Danielle or Ryan? Who is the better living example of passive aggressive behavior? They’re both so good at their backhanded rage and covert anger, it’s hard to pick a favorite! How would you weigh in?
In The Angry Smile, we explain the dynamics of the Passive Aggressive Conflict Cycle, a paradigm that describes why so many people who work or live with a passive aggressive person experience sudden and uncharacteristic emotional outbursts. In fact, most people involved in daily interactions with a passive aggressive individual are ultimately beaten down by the relationship.
This episode of The Real World features classic clips of how Ryan calmly discharges “drops” of his hidden rage on his roommates. In the “Confessional,” he admits his underlying anger to TV viewers but in person with his roommates, he is unable to be honest or direct about his feelings, choosing instead to “forget” where he parked the group’s car, fail to pick up after himself, and sabotage Erik’s romance (to name just this week’s antics).
The real dynamics of the Passive Aggressive Conflict Cycle come into play as we watch Erik’s middle-of-the-night confrontation of Ryan. Erik is the most level-headed of all the housemates, but this episode traces his slow, steady accumulation of rage and his eventual, uncharacteristic blow-up.
The confrontation can be found about 30 minutes into the episode, but if you have the time, the events leading up to it are key in understanding how Ryan inspires Erik to a roller coaster of emotions and an explosive confrontation.
If you are interested in reading more about passive aggressive behavior in families and friendships, please check out The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces. While you’re online, please also check out the adorable baby clothes and headbands at My Baby Clothes Boutique. My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide great parenting tips for their customers as a thank you for their loyalty. Check them out next time you need to get a baby gift!
>Have you been following the back and forth acts of passive aggressive revenge between Preston and Ryan on this season of MTV’s The Real World? The two roommates have nothing but hate for each other and have been engaged in hidden, back & forth rounds of detroying property (Preston’s cut-up beanie), stealing (Preston’s debit card), utter grossness (Ryan wiping Preston’s cigarettes on his ass) and upping the ante (Preston pissing on Ryan’s toothbrush and swirling it in the toilet).
Despite the major wrongs on both sides, Ryan decided he was the innocent victim when he phoned the New Orleans police (who I’m pretty sure have bigger crimes to solve!) and reported the toothbrush incidents.
With MTV, it’s difficult to clip episodes, so I have to ask you to fast forward to the 90 sec scene btween 38:30 and 40:00. For a classic and insightful explanation of the reasons behind passive aggressive revenge, you can’t get better than Preston’s apology and “confessional.” Preston talks about how gratifying passive aggressive behavior can be to the person who commits the acts of covert hostility and also recognizes his tendencies as an “ugly characteristic”
If you watch the scene that follows, you see that despite Ryan’s seemingly sincere acceptance of Preston’s apology, his own passive aggressive behavior continues, only slightly hidden beneath the scenes. What a pair!
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>Check out this clip from the January 20th, Episode 4 of MTV’s The Real World–DC. Starting at around 8:44 into the episode, Ashley and Mike get into an argument that culminates, at around 9:50, into the most classic “Angry Smile” I’ve seen in quite a while.
Note the smile on Ashley’s face and the calm that comes over her when she finds Mike’s vulnerable spot and gets him to act out the anger that had been building inside of her. Immediately after, listen to her words in the MTV “confessional” revealing her true feelings, underneath her angry smile.