Posts tagged how to be angry
From the time they are toddlers, children are often coaxed by adults to hide their feelings of anger behind a social smile. Worse yet, kids hear the explicit message, “Don’t be angry,” and are actively encouraged to deny this most basic of human emotions. When they act out—either through the tantrums of their earliest years or the rebellion of their teenage ones—they are reprimanded for all of the behaviors that adults do not want them to use.
Rather that hammering away at all of the things kids should not do when it comes to expressing their anger, parents and caregivers can effect lasting change in their kids anger-inspired behaviors by teaching them specific skills for how to be (more…)
It’s one thing to write about helping kids make smart choices when it comes to expressing anger — it’s another thing to watch an emotional situation play out right before your eyes and hope that your own child will make a good decision! Last weekend, I took my daughter and her friend to a pizza-n-games type of place. For them, making time for the delicious pizza buffet is like “having” to eat their veggies before they can enjoy dessert; wobbly crane machines and spinning prize wheels are the true delight of the restaurant. (more…)
I had the lovely, lively opportunity to chat with Todd and Laura Mansfield, hosts of Parenting Unplugged, about How To Be Angry and ways parents can teach their kids skills for managing intense emotions. Have 20 minutes? Have a listen…
A few weeks ago, I posted an article by a great professional, Blogger, and founder of Kidlutions, Wendy Young. The article was called “You Don’t Really Feel That Way, Part 1.”
Here, Wendy posts Part 2, a follow-up piece that talks about how to validate kids’ emotional experiences and drain off their intense emotions effectively. I love what she has to say and how well she explains the approach. “Drain Off” is my term, not Wendy’s. Actually, it is a Life Space Crisis Intervention term, and marks the first stage of LSCI’s six stage process of helping kids with self-defeating behaviors develop insight into their patterns and improved relationships with helping adults.
I have followed Wendy’s blogs and articles for about a year now and find myself on the same page with her time after time. This is no exception. I hope you’ll check out her work and, if you like it, be sure to also check out www.lsci.org, since our training coincides so well with the kinds of thigs she is writing.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were so overwhelmed with feelings of anger that you were at a loss for words? You had the presence of mind to know all of the things that you shouldn’t say, but weren’t quite sure how to express your true feelings without damaging your relationship.
Adults often struggle with effectively communicating their angry feelings. For children, this challenge is doubly difficult; kids don’t want to get in trouble for expressing themselves aggressively, but they often lack the skills for communicating assertively.
Parents can help their kids develop specific skills for assertive anger expression. Check out these three strategies, excerpted from, How to Be Angry: An Assertive Anger Expression Group Guide for Kids and Teens.
Do you know a child who is a little on the timid side when it comes to asking for what he needs? Does the word “pushover” come to mind when you think of how he is treated by his friends? While most kids are unreservedly bold in making and refusing requests from parents and siblings, it is quite common for youth to have difficulty asserting themselves with non-family members. Adults can help kids develop skills to assert important needs and refuse unreasonable requests by teaching fundamental assertiveness skills. (more…)