Strategies for Becoming an Ally Before, During, and After Bullying

BEFORE:

When you become aware that bullying will take place (e.g. you overhear a conversation or are the recipient of gossip) you can:

• Refuse to spread the gossip
• Tell the person to stop spreading rumors and gossip
• Tell an adult about what you overhear
• Reach out to the girl who is being targeted.  Offer to sit with her at lunch, play with her at recess, or help her feel connected to friends in another way
• Remind the bully about what it means to be a real friend

DURING:

When you see or hear bullying taking place (e.g. someone is being excluded at a lunch table or being teased) you can:

• Tell an adult about what is going on
• Reach out to the girl being bullied.  Help her feel the protection of connection with friends by talking with her, including her in your group of friends, sitting with her, etc.
• Look the bully in the eye.  With a confident voice, tell him/her to stop what he/she is doing.  A quick “Knock it off,” or “Stop.  That’s bullying,” is a simple, but powerful way to be a shero to a person who is being bullied.
• Act quickly.  Don’t wait for the bully to hurt or humiliate the girl before you stand up for her.  Your strength and action will show others that it is never okay to do nothing about bullying.

AFTER:

When you find out that someone you know has been bullied, you can:

• Listen to her as she talks about her feelings
• Tell her that you are sorry about what happened to her
• Encourage her to reach out to a trustworthy adult
• Go with her to talk to an adult
• Pull her aside and say, “Don’t worry about that girl/boy.  She/he’s like that to everyone.”
• Make sure to include her in activities with your group of friends

The Strategies for Becoming an Ally Before, During, and After Bullying are excerpted from Session 8 of Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Aged 5-11 to Cope with Bullying.  For more information on the Becoming an Ally or activity ideas on how to teach Ally Strategies to kids, please check out Friendship & Other Weapons on this site or on amazon.com.