Real Housewives of NJ
>The passive aggressive person lives for indirect expressions of anger and covert acts of aggression; facing direct confrontation about their feelings and behaviors is among their greatest fears. On last week’s Season 2 Finale of The Real Housewives of NJ, Caroline causes Danielle to face her worst nightmare when she requests a face-to-face meeting to address the “nonsense” of their tangled family drama:
Most passive aggressive people have a perception of being chronically mistreated and underappreciated. They cast themselves in the role of “victim,” which allows them to feel justified in hurting others in passive aggressive ways. This season, Danielle’s revenge on her housewife cast mates comes primarily through actions toward their children, as Caroline explains in the clip above. Her season-dominating legal wrangling with Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, is the best example, highlighting the difference between direct aggression (Ashley pulling Danielle’s hair extensions) and passive aggression (Danielle using the media to publicly damage Ashley’s reputation and perjuring herself by claiming that threats were made on her life.) Danielle also took shots at the other kids throughout the season, including calling Caroline’s son a homosexual slur, and taking this hilarious, snarky shot at Teresa’s children (all under the age of eight):
The Real Housewives of NJ is like the made-for-TV version of The Angry Smile, bringing all of the book’s theory and explanations of passive aggressive behavior to life. I couldn’t have written a better script–and no one would have believed it if they weren’t seeing it play out on TV each week! Now, rumor has it that the Bravo network has fired Danielle! Will there be a third season without the passive aggressive diva?
I’m a week behind on my TV watching because I was on vacation…must now go watch the DVR’d clip of the Reunion episode. Has anyone seen it yet? What passive aggressive minefields am I in for?
If you are interested in reading more about passive aggressive behavior in families and friendships, please check out The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces. While you’re online, please also check out the adorable baby clothes and headbands at My Baby Clothes Boutique. My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide great parenting tips for their customers as a thank you for their loyalty. Check them out next time you need to get a baby gift!
Thank you for always adding such great real-life, hilarious examples of passive aggressive behavior for this blog. Your anger over being “dissed” by Jacqueline and Teresa sitting at Kim D’s table, directly in your line of sight, was intense but I appreciate the way you tried to mask it by pretending to talk on your cell phone and texting throughout the fashion show. Classic!
It seems from the previews for next week’s episode that you may even have succeeded in getting Teresa to act out your hostilities. I can’t wait to see what happends!
>Where should I send the Thank-you note? To the Bravo network? To a Real Housewife?
Last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of NJ delivered yet again, when it comes to this collection of hilariously conniving examples of passive aggressive behavior. Though the hostility is barely hidden and rarely sugarcoated amongst these Housewives, the behind-the-scenes chatter and this e-mail exchange, in particular, are great examples of passive aggression on the set.
My favorite line in this clip comes at the very end: Danielle’s classic, passive aggressive 2-word/phrase answer to Dina’s long e-mail. Let me know what you think in the “Comments” section.