Posts tagged anger management skills for kids
This story, most recently posted on Sue Atkins’ (The Parenting Expert) website, reminds me of an activity I recently posted that teaches kids about the impact of bullying words. The basic message of “The Nail in the Fence” is the same: words can wound, so use them with care.
If you are living or working with kids and teaching important lessons about anger management, this is a great read:
The Nail in the Fence
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”
Check out this review of How to Be Angry, from the Reclaiming Youth International newsletter:
I had the lovely, lively opportunity to chat with Todd and Laura Mansfield, hosts of Parenting Unplugged, about How To Be Angry and ways parents can teach their kids skills for managing intense emotions. Have 20 minutes? Have a listen…
This is a great post from Kidlutions: Solutions for Kids. It talks about how easy it is to say the wrong thing, even when you have the right intentions…but also how simple it can be to validate a child’s big feelings and teach him or her how to cope with them.
Personally, as a mom of a girl whose intense temperament makes her a force to be reckoned with–in both good and challenging ways–I can”t wait to read the follow up Part 2!
I am spending my week with 150+ Trainers from the Life Space Crisis Intervention Institute, for our organization’s Trainer re-Certification Conference. You can not find a more dedicated group of educators, social workers, counselors, or mental health professionals anywhere. What an honor to be spending my days this way.
To celebrate, I am posting an article I recently wrote about using LSCI principles in parenting:
This morning, my 7-year old daughter was playing a game on one of her favorite child-friendly websites, when all of a sudden, the computer froze up. She tried practicing patience, assuming the squirrels who power our older machine were running slowly. She attempted a re-start—Mama’s trick for fixing any piece of technology. She even walked away for a bit, in an effort to soothe her frustrated nerves. Nonetheless, when I came downstairs, fresh from a shower and ready to start a great family weekend, her answer to my question of, “What would you like for breakfast, sweetpea?” was an angry “Nothing. I’m not eating. I don’t like anything we have here! Why can’t you ever buy waffles?” (more…)
I wrote it specifically for professionals and parents to help kids learn that having angry feelings does not make you bad; it makes you human. Learning how to effectively cope with and express those feelings in ways that enhance–rather than damage–relationships is the key.
How to Be Angry is packed with discussion-starters, games, and kid-friendly activites to help young people learn how to express their anger in assertive, relationship-building ways. It features two chapters on standing up to bullies, as well as tips on disagreeing without arguing, making and refusing requests, and responding to others’ anger.
I hope you enjoy it…check back and let me know what you think!
How many of you were told as a child, “Don’t be mad at your friend. She was just kidding,” or even “It’s not nice to be angry with your parents?” How many of you–gulp–have even uttered messages like these to your own children? Don’t worry; my hand is raised also. Despite the fact that I just wrote a book about helping kids accept and manage angry feelings, sometimes these knee-jerk responses just fly out of my mouth–as they do everyone else’s.
Are they the worst things to say to a child? Well, having worked for several years with abused children, I can definitively say (more…)
Pack lunch or buy it? Headband or hairclip? Tell the truth or spare her feelings with a little white lie? Every day, kids face dozens of choices, from the ordinary to the complicated. One of the most important decisions a young person makes each day has to do with how he handles angry feelings. (more…)