Posts tagged conflict
Recently, I was asked by Education Week’s Classroom Q&A with Larry Ferlazzo to weigh in on the question:
When two or more students are having a conflict, what are the most effective ways teachers can respond to the situation?
Here is my answer, along with the thoughtful responses of 5 other professionals:
Trainings from the Parents Division of the LSCI Institute help parents and caregivers learn specific skills for building positive relationships with kids, prevent and de-escalate conflicts, and utilize consistent, verbal strategies for crisis intervention. The LSCI Skills for Parents trainings:
- Provide parents with specific skills for building positive relationships with kids
- Encourage the use of preventative and non-physical crisis de-escalation strategies
- Provide a framework for verbal crisis intervention that is consistent from situation to situation
Part 1: Conflict Prevention & De-Escalation
The Conflict Prevention & De-Escalation course presents foundational LSCI concepts such as the Conflict Cycle™, effective listening, crisis de-escalation, and “Timeline” skills through engaging activities and discussions that are relevant and accessible to parents and caregivers. Part 1 can be taught as a 1-day course or as a series of hour-long workshops.
Part 2: Managing Challenging Behaviors
The Managing Challenging Behaviors program identifies the six most common, chronic self-defeating patterns of behavior in kids and provides parents with a consistent 4-step process that helps families effectively address and modify each one. Part 2 of the curriculum is designed as an 8-session program, with one session dedicated to each of the six self-defeating patterns, along with an Introduction and Conclusion session.
FIND OUT what participants are saying about LSCI Skills for Parents trainings: http://www.lsci.org/parents-division-lsci-institute
FOR MORE INFORMATION & TO SCHEDULE an LSCI Skills for Parents course, please click on the LSCI Training page or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Not long ago, my daughter, her best friend and I had a full day’s worth of activity and adventure, enjoying carnival games at a local festival, eating bags of salty popcorn, running through icy cold fountains when the day’s heat became too intense and following it all up with a late afternoon movie. It was Girl Time at its best!
Which is why I was totally blown away when, after dropping off her friend, my daughter’s answer to my innocent inquiry of, “So, what should we do for dinner?” was met with a raging, “Nothing! Can we just go home already? I think we’ve bonded enough for one day.”
“Was that a car that just rear-ended me?” I thought momentarily. “Can words cause whiplash?” I wondered. My white knuckles clutched the steering wheel with primitive force and I’m pretty sure the woman in the lane next to me witnessed steam coming out of my ears.
“Seriously?” I started out calmly. Unfortunately, I only began that way. Quick as a flash, angry words of hurt and indignation rang forth from my mouth. I promised to never take my daughter anywhere… ever… again. I threatened to cancel our “bonding plans” for next weekend’s end-of-school-year trip. I lied and told her that I had had a miserable day, too. In short, I mirrored the emotions my daughter had just unleashed on me and fueled the out-of-the-blue conflict with ten additional gallons of gasoline. When my rant was over, I looked at her in the rearview mirror and I knew I had blown it.
For the rest of this not-so-Mom-of-the-Year-moment–including my thoughts on how I would approach this situation if I could have a Do-Over–please check out my full article in the HuffingtonPost:
Please also check out the tab on LSCI Skills for Parents training, for more information on de-escalating conflicts with kids and improving parent-child relationships.
In the LSCI Skills for Parents trainings, we teach parents and caregivers skills for preventing power struggles and declining invitations to arguments. I like this honest account from bestselling author, Rosaline Wiseman–both for her showing how easily we all can get drawn into conflict and how the simplest of moves can de-escalate situations effectively.
A youth worker from Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch in Texas recently wrote this about LSCI training:
“LSCI is a great tool to use to be able to gain insight into why a child acts the way he does. It allows me to get to the root of a problem and help him make a change instead of just putting a band-aid on the problem. It’s a great everyday tool for building relationships with kids.”
Thanks for the feedback and thanks to our great trainers at Cal Farley’s who help adults turn crises into learning opportunities for kids with self-defeating behaviors.
For LSCI training opportunities in your area or to check out our online training course, please visit the LSCI Training page on this site or visit www.lsci.org
The morning of School Picture Day, my nine-year old neighbor shocked her mother by picking out her own outfit (a mutual favorite), doing her own hair (bangs pulled back away from the eyes) and even selecting shoes that matched (a bonus, even though the school portrait wouldn’t account for this rarity.) On her way out to the bus, she called to her mom, “Is it okay if I bring a little lip gloss for the picture?”
Sometimes in our parenting lives, we look back on certain moments that seemed so innocent — so perfect even — and realize that ignorance truly is bliss.
When the school portrait proofs were sent home one week later, my Mama-friend could still hear the lip-gloss request in the back of her head, though all she could see in the photo proofs were the brightest (I never knew red could be a neon color) and biggest (I’m talking nose to chin) set of painted lips you have never seen in your entire life.
To read the rest of this story about limit testing, conflict and effective confrontation, please click here or on the link below to read it on its original home, the HuffingtonPost Parents section.
For the past several months, I have been working with my colleagues at the Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI) Institute to develop a training series that helps parents understand and successfully manage conflict with their kids. Based on world-renowned LSCI principles of helping adults turn conflict situations into learning opportunities for kids, the curriculum is designed to teach parents skills for effectively tuning in to kids, listening, de-escalating conflict, and relationship-building. Parents learn about the six most common patterns of self-defeating behavior and gain skills for helping their kids overcome troubling patterns.
The LSCI Skills for Parents curriculum will be formally available in the Spring of 2012, but check out the great work that LSCI Master Trainer, Dr. JC Chambers, is already doing while piloting the course. His work is featured in the Madison Daily Leader:
For more information on the LSCI Skills for Parents training, please contact me at Signe@signewhitson.com or complete the Contact form with the details of your request.