Posts tagged bullying
Stopping bullying starts with teaching my 5th grade students how to recognize and differentiate types of bullying. Knowing key behaviors of each type of bullying empowers kids to understand what they are dealing with, so that they can best respond.
Activity instructions and extras can be found here:
I love to be included in this roundtable, offered through Study.com, alongside professionals like Michelle Borba and Dorothy Espelage. Hope some of our tips can be helpful to you as well!
In honor of October’s National Bullying Prevention month, here are 10 of my top posts on the topic of helping bring an end to bullying. Please share these links with professionals and parents who can use the information to support kiddos.
Here’s a great 2-part story, shared with permission by a friend, about her young daughter learning to use her voice to stand up to gossip and cruelty:
So, this is a story that I hope brings a chuckle to you. My youngest daughter, L, deals with and comes home with a lot of girl drama in her class and yesterday began relaying the latest. As she started, I said I didn’t want to hear anything about these girls because it’s a waste of our energy to keep spending time on their issues. While she’s never their target, they triangulate and manipulate for their own purposes and put kids like her in uncomfortable situations. She quickly stopped me, “No, mom, you need to hear how I stood up for myself. Today, _____ started saying something nasty about ____ and I said, ‘stop right there—I am NOT a part of this situation’ and _____ shrugged her shoulders and walked away”.
With that one sentence she stopped hurtful, negative energy in its tracks and sent a very clear message to a master drama queen. And she felt empowered. We applauded her and she ran out of the room with my phone. She returned with the Wonder Woman theme song blaring and dancing, showcasing her strengths as a young girl facing down mean girls and their manipulations. It’s a big thing when a child learns the power of her words, that they alone are weapons against unkindness. Proud mama moment. May we all raise wonder women.
Part 2, 4-days later:
My two cents:
What a wonderful day I spent at Immaculate Conception Cathedral School in Lake Charles, LA. yesterday! Here’s a few shots from our 5th/6th grade workshop, where the kids and I looked at key differences between rude, mean, and bullying behavior, then brainstormed helpful ways to respond to each.
Thanks also to the dedicated faculty and wonderful parents with whom I also got to share practical strategies for bringing an end to bullying.
To book your school-based event, click here. Now booking for Spring and Summer 2018.
Most schools have policies that guide their practices around bullying. While these policies are vital to have in place, a truth that most professionals, parents, and kids can verify is that policies don’t change people; people change people.
Young people who struggle with social interactions don’t develop new skills because a policy told them to and kids who like to dominate and control others don’t give up these behaviors because they read a rule on a poster.
Check out my recent post on Psychology Today to learn what I consider the five essential social emotional skills that must be part of any school’s comprehensive bullying prevention program.
For more information and workshop inquiries, please email me at email@example.com
My students tell me that one of the most frequently applied skills I teach them is the use of Bully Bans. Bully bans are short, to-the-point statements meant to interrupt an incident of bullying in its tracks without escalating the conflict. These practiced responses take into account that during stressful moments, kids’ brains rarely come up with “helpful” things to say. Rather, the heat-of-the-moment usually sparks emotionally-charged, conflict-fueling words and actions. Bully bans help turn this around. Find out more from my recent Psychology Today post, here:
Specific lesson plans for teaching Bully Bans to kids are featured in Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Teach Young Girls to Cope with Bullying.
I just finished a fantastic run of Conference presentations and school visits, complete with 16 presentations to over 1,000 professionals, students, and parents. In each presentation, I talked about the power of 1 genuine compliment, 1 warm smile, 1 reassuring hug, 1 kind text, 1 choice to eat lunch with a person who would otherwise eat alone…and so many other simple “1 Things” that kids can do to reach out, show kindness, and make an important different to someone who is on the receiving end of cruelty or bullying. This Psychology Today post by Pamela Paresky highlights the power of the peer group and the positive ways that social capital can be spent on helping others:
8 Keys to End Bullying: Strategies for Parents & Schools is now available in Spanish! I have a small number of review copies available if you live or work in a community or school that would benefit from this resource. Leave me a comment below, if interested in receiving a translated copy!
Looking for ideas to help prepare your child, tween, or teen to successfully navigate challenging peer dynamics, conflict, and bullying? Check out what readers–including this School Psychologist and Mom of 3–are saying about the 8 Keys to End Bullying Activity Book:
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Resource
By: Amazon Customeron August 18, 2017
I LOVE this book! As a school psychologist and mother of 3, ages 11-16, this is an incredible resource. The book is divided into 8 “Keys” in order to learn what bullying behavior looks like, how to deal with it, and how to be an advocate to end it. There are realistic examples with opportunities for kids to process how they would handle each situation, in addition to answer keys and clear cut phrases/actions that kids could use if put into similar situations. I particularly loved that the author included a chapter on how our brains work in stress situations, using simple enough language for young ones to understand the difference between the limbic system (which controls our emotional response) and pre-frontal cortex (our thinking brain). I highly recommend this book to educators and parents of kids and tweens in order to help their children learn healthy ways to navigate their social worlds.