cyberbullying

Jane Lynch on Being an Advocate for Bullied Kids

1186
13 years
by in building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying

If you haven’t seen it yet, please go to my Facebook page to check out Jane Lynch’s amazing, spot-on anti-bullying video.  My favorite part:

 

“Bullying makes children feel like they want to be invisible.  Let’s let them know that we see them, we are listening, and they can count on us to make their lives better.”

The Role of Compassion in Stopping Bullying

1366
13 years
by in Being a Mom, bullying, cyberbullying, Parenting

My heart is heavy after reading this story about Ashlynn Conner, a 10-year old child who hung herself.  According to her parents, Ashlynn was relentlessly bullied in school.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/14/ashlynn-conner-ten-year-o_n_1092683.html?1321290598&icid=maing-grid10|htmlws-main-bb|dl3|sec1_lnk3|112386

 

I always wonder about the bully and what motivates someone to be relentlessly cruel.  I ache for kids like Ashlynn who are hopeless, and see no light at the end of the tunnel.  And I think about all of the other kids in her world who knew about the aggression she was facing. 

Even having written a book on the subject, I don’t pretend to have any simple answers about how to stop bullying.  It’s a complicated problem and intervention has to occur on multiple levels.  That’s jargon for: we’ve got a LOT of work to do!  What I do know, though, is that fostering compassion is one of the most important missing links when it comes to creating a climate in which bullying becomes unacceptable.

In this recent HuffingtonPost article, I wrote about 7 ways that parents and nurturing adults can help kids become more compassionate.  I think it’s a mistake to assume that kids are either compassionate or they’re not.  Big hearts can be nurtured and compassionate kids hold a critically important key in creating cultures where bullying is not tolerated.

Whenever I talk with groups of kids about bullying, I share this mantra: It is never OK to do nothing about bullying. I have kids repeat the phrase.  I encourage them to shout it.  Sometimes, we see if the whole building can hear us!  I want kids to remember this truism.

Today, after reading Ashlynn’s story, another set of words–this time from Albert Einstein–are echoing in my head:

“The world is a dangerous place not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”    
 
  

What Parents Need to Know to Protect Their Children from Bullying

484
13 years
by in bullying, cyberbullying, Parenting

With just 3 days left before the publication of Friendship & Other Weapons, please check out this HuffingtonPost article on helping kids develop a positive future orientation:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/signe-whitson/coping-with-bullying_b_1089911.html

Turning Bystanders Into Heroes

0
13 years
by in building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying

Try this activity to help kids understand how important their role as a bystander–er, HERO, is in a bullying situation.

Give a child 5 wooden craft sticks.

Ask him to write his name on the first one. Then, tell him to break the stick. The task should be easy.

Emphasize that on our own, we are breakable.

Next, ask each child to write down the names of three people who they know they can count on for friendship and support, on three of the remaining sticks. It can be a parent, family member, friend, or even a pet.

On the remaining craft stick, ask the child to write something that they are good at, such as a sport, art, or even being a good friend to others.

Have the child stack his four sticks, one on top of the other, then challenge him to again try to break the sticks. This time, the task should be impossible.

When I do this activity with kids, usually in schools or troop settings–the expressions on the their faces as they realize the strength of the stacked sticks is priceless every time. I know my point has been made. But I say it anyway:

 

“When you support one another, and have confidence in your own abilities, you become unbreakable. Keep these craft sticks as a reminder of how strong you truly are!”

 

My other reminder/mantra to kids, when we talk about bullying and bystanding, is that it is never OK to do nothing about bullying.  I have kids repeat the phrase.  I encourage them to shout it.  Sometimes, we see if the whole building can hear us!  I want kids to remember this truism.

This week, in light of the child sexual abuse scandal at Penn State University, it seems especially important.

 

For more ideas and activites to help kids cope with bullying, please check out Friendship & Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Cope with Bullying, available November 15, 2011.

 

 

Teaching Compassion to Kids

1130
13 years
by in building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, Parenting

Experts agree that fostering compassion in young people is among the best ways to prevent verbal, physical, and emotional bullying.  Check out my post on Psychology Today, featuring seven ways to help develop compassion as a character trait and behavioral style in your child:

 

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201111/teaching-compassion-kids

Great Stop-Bullying Exercise for School Counselors & Teachers

0
13 years
by in bullying, cyberbullying

A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, but do not rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they’re sorry. Now even though they said… they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they’re sorry but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home. Copy and paste if you would like to stop bullying.

Girl Scouts Know How to Be Friends Indeed!

919
13 years
by in anger, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, friends, kids, Parenting

This morning, I had the GREAT honor and pleasure of doing a workshop for about 120 Girl Scouts and their moms (ages 5-11), based on some of the lessons and activities in Friendship & Other Weapons.  We focused on specific ways that the girls can become allies to someone who is being bullied both before, during, and after bullying situations.  In less than 10 minutes, the amazing girls came up with over 60 ways to be a friend to someone who is being bullied!  They also learned that:

It is never OK to do nothing about bullying!

Here are a few of the “How to Be a Friend” and “Stop Bullying” posters they left with me to share with you.  Please check the Bullying in Elementary School link to see more and to find out how to schedule a Friendship & Other Weapons workshop for your group of girls.

 



How Friendship & Other Weapons Came to Life

159
13 years
by in anger, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, friends, kids, media messages, online, Parenting, parents, passive aggression by children

This morning, an interviewer asked me how the idea for Friendship & Other Weapons came to be.  Thought it was worth sharing with you as well…

 

My previous book, How to Be Angry, started with the fundamental premise that anger is OK; its 15-session curriculum is all about giving children, tweens and teens specific assertive skills to express their anger in constructive, relationship-building ways.  After writing the book, it became obvious to me that there is a large group of young people who are shut out from this basic presupposition that anger is a normal, natural human experience.   Millions of young girls in the United States grow up immersed in a social universe in which “being angry” is equated with “being bad” or, at best, not “being nice.”  (more…)

From “Happy to Be Me” to Insecurity

0
13 years
by in Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, media messages, online, Parenting

I was a big fan of Sesame Street as a kid and am a bigger fan now, as a Mom.  Check out how the show is approaching the problem of bullying with young children–focusing on prevention (where we have a prayer) rather than relying on intervention (where we constantly swim upstream).    LOVE it!

 

http://www.shapingyouth.org/?p=17182

Sesame Street Takes on Bullying Among Young Kids

770
13 years
by in anger, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, media messages, Parenting

I love that more and more of us are addressing bullying during early childhood, where these behaviors have their roots. Check out this great clip–the first in a series of five produced by Sesame Workshop:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bycyRO0Vdfw]

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Signe Whitson is an author and educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. In her articles, books, and training workshops, Signe provides down-to-earth, practical advice for professionals and parents on navigating the daily challenges of living and working with children, tweens and teens.

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