passive aggression in girls

Recognizing & Responding to Your Daughter’s Passive Aggressive Behavior


Amber had been giving her mother the silent treatment all week. She was angry about not being allowed to sleep over at a friend’s house. Late Thursday night, she left a note on her mother’s pillow, asking her mom to wash her uniform before Friday’s soccer game. When Amber returned home from school on Friday, in a rush to pack her gear, she looked all over for her uniform. She finally found it in the washer-perfectly clean, as per her request-but still soaking wet! Amber was late for her game and forced to ride the bench.


When all was un-said and done, Amber’s mother felt defeated. Having one-upped her daughter in the conflict, it was clear to her that she had lost by winning. As parents, most of us have been in situations where traveling the low road is irresistible and we become temporarily reckless in our driving. But anytime we mirror a child’s poor behavior instead of modeling a healthier way to behave, our victories add up to long-term relationship damage and lasting hostilities.


To read the rest of this post and find guidelines for how parents can maintain their calm in a passive aggressive storm and respond in ways that lay the groundwork for less conflictual relationships with their daughters, please visit my blog on Psychology Today.

The Agony of Victory and the Defeat of Healthy Communication


Dealing with passive aggressive communication in your household?  Check out my post on Psychology Today:

5 Strategies for Parents Coping with a Daughter’s Passive Aggressive Behavior


Please check out my article, featured on  The post offers insight into the intentionally maddening world of passive aggressive behavior and tips for how parents can cope with–and effectively change–this pattern of behavior.



Is Your Best Friend Your Bully?


I adore author Rachel Simmons…this post from her wesbite is what Friendship & Other Weapons is all about…

Finding Kind: A Documentary Film about Friendship in Girl World


Some days, I troll around on Facebook browsing at the silly, fun goings-on in the lives of my friends.  Other days, I stumble upon the most interesting, powerful links.  Today was a lucky day–one that makes me ask: with all of my work around girl bullying, how did I not know about this group??  Please check out the Kind Campaign and their incredible documentary film, Finding Kind:


>What’s Your Anger Expression Style?


>Is your daughter the type to come right out and tell you when she is feeling angry? Does she stuff her anger inside? Perhaps she is most likely to express her feelings in sneaky ways. Or maybe, when she is mad, the whole world knows about it—and better step aside! Whatever your child’s anger style, chances are she has developed it over the years and modeled it after…gulp…much-loved family members.

Click on the link below to complete an Anger Expression Style Quiz I developed for the website Mom It Forward:

What’s Your Anger Expression Style? Take This Quiz to Find Out

A designer clothes boutique has partnered with me to help bring articles about parenting, bullying, and anger-expression styles to their community.  The next time you are in the market for trendy baby clothing, including unique headbands, baby hats, and fashion-forward pettiskirts and tutus for little ones, please check them out.

>Lessons from Ariel: Why NOT to be a Princess


>So, I’m reading the fantastic new book by Odd Girl Out author, Rachel Simmons, called The Curse of the Good Girl: Raising Authentic Girls with Courage and Confidence.  It is inspiring me, reasssuring me, and definitely making me want to blog about it here, as it discusses how young girls are socialized toward passive aggressive self-expression and away from authentic communication of their feelings.

Then, stopped in my feel-good tracks, I see this YouTube video:

What a riot…but what a fright as well!  I don’t wanna get all preachy–the humor of this type of video is so much more effective–but wow! 

Then again, who would role model herself after a girl whose waist in only 1/4 of the size of her head…

Simmons’ book is now even more true and important to me than it was even five minutes ago.  Must keep reading…need to see what she says about counteracting powerful, sugar-coated, toxic media messages…

A baby clothes boutique is supporting my efforts to educate parents and professional by providing articles like this one and many more to the community. Check them out when you need to find that perfect outfit for your little one, they have it all baby headbands, baby shoes, baby hats, and everything in between.

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