Reality TV

>A Reality Rub RI on Survivor

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>For LSCI Trainers and practitioners–as well as Survivor fans everywhere–here is a great example of a Timeline, Central Issue and Reality Rub, conducted by Jeff Probst at tribal council!  The best part is the final minute of the clip.  Let me know what you think!

http://www.cbs.com/e/TQ3ub1_xSBxvjymg2KzyMngJgFkfChti/cbs/1/

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>”I Don’t Have Love:” Passive Aggressive Girl Wars on The Bachelor

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>I can always rationalize my embarrassing taste in Reality TV by claiming that it’s all for “research purposes.”  Afterall, I get all my best passive aggressive behavior examples from watching the likes of The Bachelor, Real Housewives, etc. 

Here’s a great clip from ABC’s The Bachelor.  Watch how one group of girls creates doubt in the mind of Michelle, the girl that the Bachelor has chosen for his coveted one-on-one date.  Pay particular attention to the classic Angry Smile and (background cackle!) of the bearer of the bad news suggestion:

http://www.hulu.com/embed/E2ErJl80hGNYUHzOgFBehw/1855/1886

http://www.hulu.com/watch/209325/the-bachelor-week-4-part-1?c=1855:1886

My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a warm baby hat for winter. They have it all!

>Passive Aggressive Provocation on Celebrity Rehab 4

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>Watch this clip from Celebrity Rehab 4’s meeting between patient/actor Jeremy London and his estranged wife, Melissa.  Just prior to the sit-down with Dr. Drew, London learned that his wife sold damaging stories about him to the National Enquirer.  In this meeting, Dr. Drew has asked him to hold off on addressing the subject until he is further into his sobriety (the main purpose of the meeting is to simply agree to a peaceful co-existence for the sake of the couple’s young son).  London does as he is told–sort of–by not confronting his wife about the Enquirer, but listen for the clear, passive aggressive provocations he lays out:

http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:vh1.com:610683

 
Especially classic is London’s facial expression after Melissa leaves the room, when Dr. Drew confronts his passive aggressive provocations.  London’s angry smile about Melissa going off like a “roman candle” is a clear indication of the purposefulness of London’s passive aggression.
 
Also, Dr. Drew’s direct, benign confrontation of London’s provocation, both with Melissa in the room and after, is a great demonstration of the effectiveness of this approach with passive aggressive behavior.http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=passivea0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1416404236&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr 
 
 
 
 
My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide articles to the parenting community. Check out their site the next time you need adorable baby clothes, photo perfect baby headbands, or even just a warm baby hat for winter. They have it all!

>”Paybacks” are Rough! Survivor: Nicaragua – Episode 2

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>When Holly gets upset at her tribemate for talking badly about her, she needs to find a way to get her anger out. Giving sand to a city boy is her hidden revenge!

Check out this clip from Survivor: Nicaragua – Episode 2 for one of the Angriest Smile’s I’ve seen in a long time:

http://www.cbs.com/e/XAE7_DQSAkBqbmUigkGI6vGaEU7axJxv/cbs/1/

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>Real World New Orleans | Ep. 10 | Getting Down, Blowing Up

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>Real World New Orleans Ep. 10 Getting Down, Blowing Up: “The roommates might have finally had enough of Ryan’s inconsiderate behavior.”

Danielle or Ryan? Who is the better living example of passive aggressive behavior? They’re both so good at their backhanded rage and covert anger, it’s hard to pick a favorite! How would you weigh in?

In The Angry Smile, we explain the dynamics of the Passive Aggressive Conflict Cycle, a paradigm that describes why so many people who work or live with a passive aggressive person experience sudden and uncharacteristic emotional outbursts. In fact, most people involved in daily interactions with a passive aggressive individual are ultimately beaten down by the relationship.

This episode of The Real World features classic clips of how Ryan calmly discharges “drops” of his hidden rage on his roommates. In the “Confessional,” he admits his underlying anger to TV viewers but in person with his roommates, he is unable to be honest or direct about his feelings, choosing instead to “forget” where he parked the group’s car, fail to pick up after himself, and sabotage Erik’s romance (to name just this week’s antics).

The real dynamics of the Passive Aggressive Conflict Cycle come into play as we watch Erik’s middle-of-the-night confrontation of Ryan. Erik is the most level-headed of all the housemates, but this episode traces his slow, steady accumulation of rage and his eventual, uncharacteristic blow-up.

The confrontation can be found about 30 minutes into the episode, but if you have the time, the events leading up to it are key in understanding how Ryan inspires Erik to a roller coaster of emotions and an explosive confrontation.

If you are interested in reading more about passive aggressive behavior in families and friendships, please check out The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces. While you’re online, please also check out the adorable baby clothes and headbands at My Baby Clothes Boutique. My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide great parenting tips for their customers as a thank you for their loyalty. Check them out next time you need to get a baby gift!

>The Season Finale of The Real Housewives of NJ Delivers!

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>The passive aggressive person lives for indirect expressions of anger and covert acts of aggression;  facing direct confrontation about their feelings and behaviors is among their greatest fears.  On last week’s Season 2 Finale of The Real Housewives of NJ, Caroline causes Danielle to face her worst nightmare when she requests a face-to-face meeting to address the “nonsense” of their tangled family drama:

http://www.hulu.com/embed/hdPoH-D645E1csaOgdvOrQ

Most passive aggressive people have a perception of being chronically mistreated and underappreciated.  They cast themselves in the role of “victim,” which allows them to feel justified in hurting others in passive aggressive ways.  This season, Danielle’s revenge on her housewife cast mates comes primarily through actions toward their children, as Caroline explains in the clip above.  Her season-dominating legal wrangling with Jacqueline’s daughter, Ashley, is the best example, highlighting the difference between direct aggression (Ashley pulling Danielle’s hair extensions) and passive aggression (Danielle using the media to publicly damage Ashley’s reputation and perjuring herself by claiming that threats were made on her life.)  Danielle also took shots at the other kids throughout the season, including calling Caroline’s son a homosexual slur, and taking this hilarious, snarky shot at Teresa’s children (all under the age of eight):

http://www.hulu.com/embed/4jRECua384SS6QP5YvqMjg/379/397

The Real Housewives of NJ is like the made-for-TV version of The Angry Smile, bringing all of the book’s theory and explanations of passive aggressive behavior to life.  I couldn’t have written a better script–and no one would have believed it if they weren’t seeing it play out on TV each week!  Now, rumor has it that the Bravo network has fired Danielle!  Will there be a third season without the passive aggressive diva? 

I’m a week behind on my TV watching because I was on vacation…must now go watch the DVR’d clip of the Reunion episode.  Has anyone seen it yet?  What passive aggressive minefields am I in for?

If you are interested in reading more about passive aggressive behavior in families and friendships, please check out The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive Aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces. While you’re online, please also check out the adorable baby clothes and headbands at My Baby Clothes Boutique. My Baby Clothes Boutique has partnered with me to provide great parenting tips for their customers as a thank you for their loyalty. Check them out next time you need to get a baby gift!

>MTV’s The Real World New Orleans

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>Have you been following the back and forth acts of passive aggressive revenge between Preston and Ryan on this season of MTV’s The Real World?  The two roommates have nothing but hate for each other and have been engaged in hidden, back & forth rounds of detroying property (Preston’s cut-up beanie), stealing (Preston’s debit card), utter grossness (Ryan wiping Preston’s cigarettes on his ass) and upping the ante (Preston pissing on Ryan’s toothbrush and swirling it in the toilet). 

Despite the major wrongs on both sides, Ryan decided he was the innocent victim when he phoned the New Orleans police (who I’m pretty sure have bigger crimes to solve!) and reported the toothbrush incidents.

With MTV, it’s difficult to clip episodes, so I have to ask you to fast forward to the 90 sec scene btween 38:30 and 40:00.  For a classic and insightful explanation of the reasons behind passive aggressive revenge, you can’t get better than Preston’s apology and “confessional.”  Preston talks about how gratifying passive aggressive behavior can be to the person who commits the acts of covert hostility and also recognizes his tendencies as an “ugly characteristic”

http://www.mtv.com/videos/real-world-new-orleans-ep-6-sing-out-cop-out/1644491/playlist.jhtml

If you watch the scene that follows, you see that despite Ryan’s seemingly sincere acceptance of Preston’s apology, his own passive aggressive behavior continues, only slightly hidden beneath the scenes.  What a pair!  

On a totally unrelated note…My Baby Clothes Boutique has been partnering with me to provide articles and resources to parents, as their way of giving back to their community. If you are in the market for truly unique and fashionable baby gifts, please check them out!

>Lessons from Paris Hilton

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>Dear Danielle:

Thank you for always adding such great real-life, hilarious examples of passive aggressive behavior for this blog.  Your anger over being “dissed” by Jacqueline and Teresa sitting at Kim D’s table, directly in your line of sight, was intense but I appreciate the way you tried to mask it by pretending to talk on your cell phone and texting throughout the fashion show.  Classic!

It seems from the previews for next week’s episode that you may even have succeeded in getting Teresa to act out your hostilities.  I can’t wait to see what happends!

Thanks again!

http://www.hulu.com/embed/jUZfc244cOkeCzV-reGThA

>Real Housewives of NJ…AGAIN

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>Where should I send the Thank-you note? To the Bravo network? To a Real Housewife?

Last night’s episode of The Real Housewives of NJ delivered yet again, when it comes to this collection of hilariously conniving examples of passive aggressive behavior. Though the hostility is barely hidden and rarely sugarcoated amongst these Housewives, the behind-the-scenes chatter and this e-mail exchange, in particular, are great examples of passive aggression on the set.

My favorite line in this clip comes at the very end: Danielle’s classic, passive aggressive 2-word/phrase answer to Dina’s long e-mail. Let me know what you think in the “Comments” section.

http://www.hulu.com/embed/PE7T7kSFBxmMl2V9NO3rUw

http://www.hulu.com/watch/156204/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-dinas-not-done-with-danielle?c=81:234

The Angry Smile: The Psychology of Passive-aggressive Behavior in Families, Schools, and Workplaces

>John & Kate & a lot of Hate

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>So, do you think John Gosselin’s being a little bit passive aggressive these days? Calling a 90-day halt to the divorce proceedings and draining the joint bank account right after he gets cut out of the TV show?

How about Kate’s PA behavior–making the rounds of the TV talk shows, badmouthing John, while claiming that she’s “only stating the facts…” and “just doing it so that her kids know the truth.”

Is Kate a great example of the type of personality that elicits passive aggressive behavior from others? In older episodes, do you recall seeing John’s passive aggression?

Share examples from episodes here…

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