signewhitson

signewhitson

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Posts by signewhitson

It’s Better to Want What You Have than to Have What You Want

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Operation Beautiful: Ending Negative Self-Talk, One Post-It Note at a Time

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This article was originally posted on Mom It Forward on 6/6/11:

Are you ever your own worst enemy? Does the little voice inside your head ever say cruel, demeaning things like, “You’re fat,” or “You’ll never be good enough?” After a heart-to-heart with yourself, are you left feeling discouraged and demeaned?

Caitlin Boyle, founder of OperationBeautiful.com, was tired of fighting with (and losing to) her inner voice. One day—a particularly bad day—she rebelled. She wrote the words, “You are Beautiful” on a post-it note and stuck it to a public bathroom mirror. And, as they say, the rest was history. (more…)

Assertive Anger Expression for Kids: Arguing vs. Disagreeing

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Do your children bicker? Mine sure do. In fact, asking if they bicker is like asking if they breathe; it comes so naturally to them that some days it seems like a life-sustaining function. I try to remind myself that sibling rivalry, while not actually critical to survival, is at least a great teacher for kids, as they practice life skills like assertiveness, negotiation, and forgiveness.

Though I put great effort into not being a constant family mediator, one of the most effective lessons I was ever able to pass on mid-conflict was teaching my daughters the difference between disagreeing and arguing.

For the full text of this article, please visit:

http://www.parentsareimportant.com/2011/06/assertive-anger-expression-for-kids.html

For more information on skills and strategies to help children express anger in assertive, relationship-enhancing ways, please check out my latest book, to be released this July:  How to Be Angry: An Assertive Anger Expression Group Guide for Kids and Teens

4 Common Passive Aggressive Phrases from Kids–Just Sayin’

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Since the publication of The Angry Smile, I’ve been a collector of sorts–of examples of the way we all use passive aggression in our daily lives.  It’s pure entertainment when I see sugarcoated hostility on reality TV shows–the Real Housevives of New Jersey comes immediately to mind–and it’s funny when my friends and neighbors share examples of the compliant defiance of their children and spouses.  It’s a bit disturbing, on the other hand, when the passive aggressive behavior comes straight from the mouths of my darling daughters…

A sampling of this weekend’s passive aggressive phrases:

  • “No offense, but…” 

And you know you are about to be completely insulted…but can ascribe no ill-intentions to the insulter because, as she forewarned, she meant no offense.

  • “Just sayin…”

A tagline used in a thinly veiled attempt to absolve herself from blame about the horrid thing she just muttered to her sister.

  • Can’t you take a joke?” 

Straight from the girl bullying playbook, this faux-innocent question is used to justify hidden aggression and mask unkind intentions.

  • “I feel really sorry for my sister because her balloon broke and I still have mine.” 

When confronted, the excuse is, “What?  I said I felt sorry for her!”  When pressed, the acknowledgement is, “Yes, I was mad that she took my seat on the sofa, so I said that to make her feel bad.”

 

Will you add to my collection?  What are the passive aggressive phrases commonly–“innocently”–uttered in your household?

 

 

ParentCentral.Net: A Great Online Resource for Parents

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In 1998, professionals from KidsPeace National Centers founded TeenCentral.net, a unique website designed as a safe place for teens to share their personal stories and receive feedback from peers as well as professional counselors. In the last decade, this award-winning site has responded to hundreds of thousands of stories and provided timely guidance to teens via its anonymous, free platform.

In response to increasing feedback from adults who have shared their parenting challenges and struggles, the founders of TeenCentral recently created ParentCentral.net. ParentCentral is designed to allow parents and caregivers the opportunity to post (more…)

Love Drop June 2011

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[twitter-follow screen_name='signewhitson.com' show_screen_name='no'][youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-2_U2Hw59A]
Hey guys!  The Love Drop team is at it again! Last month they gave over $9,200 worth of cash, goods and
services to their recipient, the Stalnaker family, who had been going through a financially hard time due to the effects of the BP oil spill on the Louisiana economy. The family was in need of a car and the Love Drop team was able to
surprise them with one, making it one of the most exciting Love Drops ever. You can watch how it all went down here.

(more…)

3 Lessons on Kindness

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Check out this link for a post I wrote about my Mom, one of the best role models of kindness I’ve ever known:

http://www.ourmommyhood.com/2011/06/01/3-lessons-on-kindness-modeled-by-my-mother/comment-page-1/#comment-10213

I Was So Mad! Teaching Assertive Anger Expression to Kids

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From the cries of infancy, to the tantrums of toddlerhood, and hopefully the self-control of school-age years, developing the delicate art of anger expression is a process for children. Some little ones seem to be born with a cool head while others show their hot-tempers right from birth. No matter what your child’s temperament, all people have choices when it comes to handling angry feelings. Parents play the crucial role in helping their children make healthy choices when it comes to anger expression. Consider (more…)

Kindness Matters

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Listening Skills: The Most Powerful Relationship Tool

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My  first job after graduate school was as a therapist for severely  socially and emotionally disturbed (SED) adolescents living in a group  setting. I was excited to learn everything I would need to know for the  position from the woman who interviewed and hired me, as she had a  reputation as a brilliant clinician. On my first day of work, however, I  learned that she had accepted a new position and would be leaving the  organization within two weeks. My opportunity to be mentored by her was  suddenly reduced to a week of training and a few days of farewell  celebrations.
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