6-year old Ian’s parents are going through a bitter divorce. With his estranged mom and dad still living under the same roof, Ian experiences a chaotic home environment that includes domestic violence and inconsistent care. At school, Ian often has unexplained meltdowns and major over-reactions to simple requests by his teachers. This morning, when his first period teacher asked him to take out his math homework, he called her a “Bitch” and kicked his chair to the floor. (more…)
Is your child the type to come right out and tell you when he is feeling angry? Does he stuff his anger inside? Perhaps he is most likely to express his feelings in sneaky ways. Or maybe, when he is mad, the whole world knows about it—and better step aside! Whatever your child’s anger style, chances are he has developed it over the years and modeled it after…gulp…much-loved family members.
Take this Anger Styles Quiz to learn about how anger is articulated in your family: (more…)
From the cries of infancy, to the tantrums of toddlerhood, and hopefully the self-control of school-age years, developing the delicate art of anger expression is a process for children. Some little ones seem to be born with a cool head while others show their hot-tempers right from birth. No matter what your child’s temperament, all people have choices when it comes to handling angry feelings. Parents play the crucial role in helping their children make healthy choices when it comes to anger expression. Consider (more…)
Some days, I troll around on Facebook browsing at the silly, fun goings-on in the lives of my friends. Other days, I stumble upon the most interesting, powerful links. Today was a lucky day–one that makes me ask: with all of my work around girl bullying, how did I not know about this group?? Please check out the Kind Campaign and their incredible documentary film, Finding Kind:
This article of mine was originally posted on 5/9/11 on www.parentsareimportant.com:
Mothers are known for giving advice—both the asked for and the unsolicited kind. This year, I celebrate all of the wisdom that my own mom passed on to me through her words and more importantly, in her actions over the years:
Don’t Worry About What Others Think
My mother was the dance-in-the-aisles-of-the-supermarket kind of mom. The one who cheered too loudly at my cross-country meets and elbowed her way (more…)
>Check out this article about how to effectively confront passive aggressive behavior in your relationship, posted on Mom It Forward
>So, do you think John Gosselin’s being a little bit passive aggressive these days? Calling a 90-day halt to the divorce proceedings and draining the joint bank account right after he gets cut out of the TV show?
How about Kate’s PA behavior–making the rounds of the TV talk shows, badmouthing John, while claiming that she’s “only stating the facts…” and “just doing it so that her kids know the truth.”
Is Kate a great example of the type of personality that elicits passive aggressive behavior from others? In older episodes, do you recall seeing John’s passive aggression?
Share examples from episodes here…
>Passive Aggressive Diaries has been getting a good collection lately of stories about sugarcoated hostility in relationships. So many of them center around household chores…here’s a funny one posted by Shelly Schoenberg on 9/30/09:
When I lived with my boyfriend I used to do the laundry. Every Monday and Wednesday I would take a laundry basket to my mom’s house to do the clothes. Since we lived in an apartment, if I did the clothes there I would have to pay about four dollars a load. Our apartment was on the third floor. I am not a big person so I had trouble carrying this big basket down the steps. I would ask my boyfriend to take the basket to my car every Monday and Wednesday before he went to work.
My boyfriend is a slob and a construction worker. He would come home from work, take his clothes off right at the door, and leave them there. Meanwhile as the week progressed so did the mound of clothes behind the door. He also left clothes scattered around the house and never picked up after himself.
One Monday morning I asked him to quickly pick up his clothes from around the house, throw them in the basket, and take the basket out to my car so I could do the clothes. He threw a temper tantrum and said that he “didn’t have time, and why couldnt I just do it”. I told him that instead of wasting time complaining to me he could have had the clothes picked up and in the basket. He said a few nasty choice words and left, leaving the basket for me to carry and his clothes to pick up.
Well at 5am I was not very pleased with his actions. So, I took all of his clothes out of the basket and threw them on the mound of clothes that was already mounting behind the door. I proceeded to take my clothes to my moms and wash them. When I came back to the house, I found him sitting on the couch staring at the pile. He asked me if I washed clothes, I told him yes I did (trying my hardest not to smile). He said “why is there a pile of my clothes behind the door then?” I simply answered “Were your clothes in the basket? Because if they were then I did them, if not then, no, they didn’t get done.” He was furious because he was out of clothes for a week. Now he does his own clothes.
Where have you experienced passive aggression in your relationship? Do chores like laundry, errands and dishwashing bring out the worst in you? Please leave your own stories of sugarcoated hostility here!