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>No Name-Calling Week will be celebrated in schools all over the United States during the week of January 24th-28th. As teachers and counselors plan group activities and discussions around this important theme, you can emphasize the same message at home with these great children’s and tweenage reads:

Jungle Bullieshttp://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=passivea0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=0761456201&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr by Steven Kroll

Jungle Bullies is a picture book for preschoolers that uses rhyme and repetition to share important messages about standing up for yourself and learning to share. With engaging, child-friendly illustrations and inviting jungle animal characters, this is a great choice for introducing concepts about friendship and bullying to the youngest readers.

Chester Raccoon and the Big Bad Bully by Audrey Pennhttp://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=passivea0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1933718307&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

When I saw this book on the bookstore end cap, I had to reach for it right away. Penn’s The Kissing Hand has always been one of my favorite tales (to this day, my five-year old, inspired by the book, still draws hearts on her palm whenever she is missing someone) so I knew I’d want to check out whatever Penn had written.

I have to admit that in my first read of the book, I wondered if this tale about turning a bully into a pal might be too simplistic and unrealistic of a message for young kids dealing with a troublesome bullying situation. I stand firm on this first impression, but also give weight to my thoughts after a second read, which are that teaching children to extend a hand of friendship is always a positive message and good initial strategy for approaching relationships. These varied reactions are exactly what make this book a good read for young children and a great discussion starter at home.

My Secret Bully by Trudi Ludwighttp://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=passivea0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1582461597&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr

My Secret Bully, written for tween readers, lifts the lid off of the hidden culture of relational aggression, otherwise known as girl bullying. It tells the story of Monica and Katie—two girls who have been friends since Kindergarten, but who now are facing a rift in their relationship, as Katie begins to exclude and embarrass her former friend in front of their other classmates. In tackling this painful subject of the ways in which some girls use relationships as weapons, Ludwig provides an accurate and not-often-addressed portrait of a young girl’s anguish at the hands of a frenemy. My Secret Bully is not a light-hearted portrayal of bullying, nor does it offer pat answers. But it does address an important issue in the lives of upper elementary and middle school-aged girls and can serve as a great springboard for discussions with parents.

For more information, suggested resources, and additional discussion ideas, please visit the No Name-Calling Week website.

This blog article was first posted on 3 P’s in a Pod on 1/13/11.

>Watch this clip from Celebrity Rehab 4’s meeting between patient/actor Jeremy London and his estranged wife, Melissa.  Just prior to the sit-down with Dr. Drew, London learned that his wife sold damaging stories about him to the National Enquirer.  In this meeting, Dr. Drew has asked him to hold off on addressing the subject until he is further into his sobriety (the main purpose of the meeting is to simply agree to a peaceful co-existence for the sake of the couple’s young son).  London does as he is told–sort of–by not confronting his wife about the Enquirer, but listen for the clear, passive aggressive provocations he lays out:

http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:uma:video:vh1.com:610683

 
Especially classic is London’s facial expression after Melissa leaves the room, when Dr. Drew confronts his passive aggressive provocations.  London’s angry smile about Melissa going off like a “roman candle” is a clear indication of the purposefulness of London’s passive aggression.
 
Also, Dr. Drew’s direct, benign confrontation of London’s provocation, both with Melissa in the room and after, is a great demonstration of the effectiveness of this approach with passive aggressive behavior.http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=passivea0d-20&o=1&p=8&l=bpl&asins=1416404236&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr 
 
 
 
 
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>When I was a child, I adored every bit of my mother, from her kinky blonde hair to her bumpy thighs. Not the most flattering description, right? On the contrary—I truly thought those parts of my mom were lovable, wonderful and perfect! Let me explain.

Now that I am a mom myself, I find myself with choices everyday. Clean the kitchen floor or go to the pool? Work out or play a game of Hungry, Hungry Hippos? Spend an hour cooking dinner or swing on a swing alongside my daughter?

The answers are obvious, right? They are to me. I’ve come to the conclusion that cooking and cleaning is a waste of my kids’ childhood. And while before guests arrive, I do often engage in furious rounds of throw-the-toys-in-the-basket and silently curse the results of my “let it go” attitude, I know that I keep a clean-enough house, a healthy, if non-gourmet kitchen, and a whole lot of savored moments with my daughters.
I learned all this from the mom I grew up with.

These days, her hair is smooth and well-coifed. I know this is the way she prefers it, but I am grateful that when I was a kid and wanted her to swim with me, she was okay with letting the pool water and humidity cause her some frizz. Likewise, I vividly recall the days she dedicated to taking me and my brother to baseball games and children’s museums, but don’t remember a bit whether our house was clean or messy on any given day. Neither did it ever cross my mind how her figure compared to those of other moms. I do, however, remember thinking that the bumps in her thighs were so soft and hoping that my legs would be just like hers when I grew up.

These days, cellulite on my thighs is no longer my fondest wish. Yet, knowing that I loved everything about my mom—and that she loved me enough not to let bad hair days and imperfectly-toned legs keep her from sharing in the things my brother and I loved as children—still makes me want to be like her in every important way.

My dreams for 2011 are big! Along with the honor of raising the two most interesting people I know, I am under contract to write a book about helping kids and teens develop skills for assertive anger expression. Writing this book is a life-goal come true! The challenge for me—and for most women I know—will be in finding a healthy balance between all of the things I want to do and all of the things that need to be done.
As a New Year dawns and I think about the kind of person I want to be throughout the inevitably busy-crazy days, the first item on my 2011 Resolutions List will the mom-inspired mantra:

You are a human being, not a human doing.

All the rest, I feel certain, will fall imperfectly in line.

Oprah Winfrey Networkif (WIDGETBOX) WIDGETBOX.renderWidget(‘808bbc2c-6ce5-45cd-9577-e76609e052c0’);The New Oprah Winfrey Network

“I wrote this blog post while participating in the TwitterMoms and OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network blogging program, for a $50 gift card. For more information on how you can participate, click here.”

>Check out this story featured on The Today Show:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32545640

I happened to be watching this morning during the chaos of getting my daughters ready for school.  We all put down our breakfast spoons to listen to what Ally had to say and to hear how she responded with courage and strength to this painful and public humiliation.  Nothing my girls will learn in school today will compare with this great, real-life example of taking time to feel your feelings and then using them to propel you to action.  In Ally’s case, she did exactly what all the bullying experts advise–she took action quickly and courageously and stood up for herself in an assertive way.  Reporter Jeff Rosen calls her courage a game changer–I can only hope that both those who cowardly bully others and those who bravely stand up to mean kids will hear her experience and be moved by it.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/26184891/vp/40565123#40565123

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