Internationally recognized author & educator for professionals, parents, and kids
Archive for February, 2012
Is Your Child a Limit Tester? 3 Essential Steps for Closing Your Loopholes
172213 years
The morning of School Picture Day, my nine-year old neighbor shocked her mother by picking out her own outfit (a mutual favorite), doing her own hair (bangs pulled back away from the eyes) and even selecting shoes that matched (a bonus, even though the school portrait wouldn’t account for this rarity.) On her way out to the bus, she called to her mom, “Is it okay if I bring a little lip gloss for the picture?”
Sometimes in our parenting lives, we look back on certain moments that seemed so innocent — so perfect even — and realize that ignorance truly is bliss.
When the school portrait proofs were sent home one week later, my Mama-friend could still hear the lip-gloss request in the back of her head, though all she could see in the photo proofs were the brightest (I never knew red could be a neon color) and biggest (I’m talking nose to chin) set of painted lips you have never seen in your entire life.
To read the rest of this story about limit testing, conflict and effective confrontation, please click here or on the link below to read it on its original home, the HuffingtonPost Parents section.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/signe-whitson/is-your-child-a-limit-tes_b_1298761.html
Asking Adults to Tune In & Listen to Kids: The Relate Talk to Us Campaign
74813 years
by signewhitson
in anger
Check out this newly released video from Relate, the UK’s largest provider of relationship support for couples, families, and kids. The Relate Talk to Us Campaign is designed to encourage parents to listen well to their kids and to understand the sources of the anger that are driving childrens’ needs for professional help.
Relate recently commissioned two surveys–one of counselors and one of young people–to find out what is really bothering our kids. Click here to read what professionals and kids are saying about the stressors in their lives.
The Roots of Bullying Behavior
013 years
“Be kind to unkind people; they often need it the most.”
I was reminded of this truism when Tony Shin sent me this infographic on cyberbullying. While most books, articles, and programs focus (righteously!) on the targets of bullying, his work examines the roots of bullying, calling this a predictable psychological behavior whose roots are usually planted in early childhood. An interesting perspective. What do you think?
Created by: OnlineCounselingDegrees.net
5 Ways to Parent a Perfectionist
35213 years
Do you have a little one who likes to “do things right…” or else just not do them at all? Check out my article on galtime.com for important tips on how to parent a perfectionist:
When I watch my seven-year old daughter agonize over handwriting homework and berate herself for missing one question on her 30-problem math test, I thank the gods of “good enough” that perfectionism was never my thing. And I ask those same gods for advice on how to help my child overcome her need to be flawless.
If you, too, are the parent of a perfectionist, here are some tips that I have found to be most effective:
1. Play up personal strengths and play down competitions
In school and at home, my daughter loves to win. My husband insists that this is a great quality and I know that in many ways, her desire for excellence will serve her well. Yet I also know that too much of a good thing can be rough, especially for young kids who hold themselves to impossibly high standards. When my daughter seems singularly focused on being the ‘best” reader in her class or getting the “highest” score in math, we try to re-focus her energies on achieving personal bests and celebrating individual accomplishments instead. She is visibly calmer and more confident when she attends to her own goals rather than comparing herself to others.