Signe Whitson | 2009

>Passive Aggressive Revenge!

60

15 years

by admin in Uncategorized

>I’ve been hearing and reading funny examples lately of people using passive aggressive means to get revenge at those who have slighted them, broken rules, or just plain pissed them off. Here’s one that was posted by Demetrius Jones Owens on 9/23/09:

In my house growing up text messages, emails, and instant messages were not considered means of communication that were consistent. In saying this, it is to be noted that my mother’s number one communication rule was to either have a face-to-face conversation with the person or call the person to explain what was needed.

So my cousins came to visit during the summer of 2000 and were a lot older than me so they were allowed more freedom and alone time than me since I was only 13. The rules were easy for them to follow and worked well at first with them calling every few hours when they would go out and so my mother became more easy going with them going out.

The problem came one night when they wanted to go to a club that was known to have underage drinking and a lot of fights, so my cousins decide that was where they wanted to go and devised a plan how to go. The night was going fine until my mother called them while they were in the club; obviously not to give away there location they decided to text her that they were out with friends and they would be home later and to please leave door open.

The night continued and they were still out when my mother got the bright idea to not leave the door open since they decided that they would disobey her rules, and subsequently they came home to find the door locked. They called the house phone and cell phones for about 20 minutes straight trying to get in the house but to no avail, and evenly received a text message that said “text messages are not reliable. I am sending this to you at 11pm letting you know we are going to my mothers and will be back in two days, be home by 3am if going”. They looked at their phones it was 5am.

Please leave your own stories of revenge–passive aggressive style.

>Passive Aggressive Revenge!

0

15 years

by signewhitson in family members, revenge, text message

>I’ve been hearing and reading funny examples lately of people using passive aggressive means to get revenge at those who have slighted them, broken rules, or just plain pissed them off. Here’s one that was posted by Demetrius Jones Owens on 9/23/09:

In my house growing up text messages, emails, and instant messages were not considered means of communication that were consistent. In saying this, it is to be noted that my mother’s number one communication rule was to either have a face-to-face conversation with the person or call the person to explain what was needed.

So my cousins came to visit during the summer of 2000 and were a lot older than me so they were allowed more freedom and alone time than me since I was only 13. The rules were easy for them to follow and worked well at first with them calling every few hours when they would go out and so my mother became more easy going with them going out.

The problem came one night when they wanted to go to a club that was known to have underage drinking and a lot of fights, so my cousins decide that was where they wanted to go and devised a plan how to go. The night was going fine until my mother called them while they were in the club; obviously not to give away there location they decided to text her that they were out with friends and they would be home later and to please leave door open.

The night continued and they were still out when my mother got the bright idea to not leave the door open since they decided that they would disobey her rules, and subsequently they came home to find the door locked. They called the house phone and cell phones for about 20 minutes straight trying to get in the house but to no avail, and evenly received a text message that said “text messages are not reliable. I am sending this to you at 11pm letting you know we are going to my mothers and will be back in two days, be home by 3am if going”. They looked at their phones it was 5am.

Please leave your own stories of revenge–passive aggressive style.

>Wake up!

4

15 years

by admin in Uncategorized

>Found this one years ago…one of my all-time favorites!

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said,
“It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

>Wake up!

14

15 years

by signewhitson in marital conflict, relationships, silent treatment

>Found this one years ago…one of my all-time favorites!

A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM
for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE),
he wrote on a piece of paper,
“Please wake me at 5:00 AM.”
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up,
only to discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn’t wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said,
“It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

>The Gifts that Keeps on Giving

61

15 years

by admin in Uncategorized

>The subject of gift-giving always seems to be a ripe one when it comes to collecting stories of passive aggressive behavior–especially among family members. Passive aggressive persons often select gifts not based on what the receiver genuinely desires, but rather to make a specific statement.

Read below for some great examples, including this one, posted by Robin on 5/10/09:

My in-laws never seem to be happy with any gift we ever give them. And they are not the typical parents/grandparents that are happy to receive a homemade gift from the grandchildren or something with sentimental value. Oh no. They want GIFTS! Gifts that cost money. Gifts that come in a Red Envelope or ones in a little powder blue box. Expensive, lavish gifts that we don’t seem to ever produce, regardless of how much we’ve tried.

And yes, for a very long time, we have tried to please. However, this past Christmas, with the recent addition of a baby to our family, we didn’t have a lot of time for shopping. That being said, everyone in both of our families received gifts that could be ordered online. And everybody else seemed to be grateful for our efforts. Despite the time constraints and sleep deprivation under which we were working, we thought we had come up with a good one, both thoughtful and costing money, by sending my father in law a gift package from Omaha Steaks. For my mother-in-law, we sent her a gift basket from a company that apparently weaves baskets from gold plate instead of wicker.

They apparently did not appreciate the efforts. When my husband called his parents for our weekly phone chat (notice I didn’t say, when my father-in-law called to thank us) he graced us with a not so convincing thank you and proceeded to tell us that, “you know, if you’re looking for gift ideas for your mother and me in the future, we like tickets to shows. You know concerts, Broadway plays, that kind of thing”. My husband was beside himself over his father’s audacity to inform us of what to buy him. I, on the other hand, was not surprised. After all, if tickets are what he wants, tickets he shall get…..next Christmas, I hope he enjoys his night out to see THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES.

Have any good examples of bad gifts? Post them here!

>The Gifts that Keeps on Giving

142

15 years

by signewhitson in family members, gifts, in-laws, passive aggression

>The subject of gift-giving always seems to be a ripe one when it comes to collecting stories of passive aggressive behavior–especially among family members. Passive aggressive persons often select gifts not based on what the receiver genuinely desires, but rather to make a specific statement.

Read below for some great examples, including this one, posted by Robin on 5/10/09:

My in-laws never seem to be happy with any gift we ever give them. And they are not the typical parents/grandparents that are happy to receive a homemade gift from the grandchildren or something with sentimental value. Oh no. They want GIFTS! Gifts that cost money. Gifts that come in a Red Envelope or ones in a little powder blue box. Expensive, lavish gifts that we don’t seem to ever produce, regardless of how much we’ve tried.

And yes, for a very long time, we have tried to please. However, this past Christmas, with the recent addition of a baby to our family, we didn’t have a lot of time for shopping. That being said, everyone in both of our families received gifts that could be ordered online. And everybody else seemed to be grateful for our efforts. Despite the time constraints and sleep deprivation under which we were working, we thought we had come up with a good one, both thoughtful and costing money, by sending my father in law a gift package from Omaha Steaks. For my mother-in-law, we sent her a gift basket from a company that apparently weaves baskets from gold plate instead of wicker.

They apparently did not appreciate the efforts. When my husband called his parents for our weekly phone chat (notice I didn’t say, when my father-in-law called to thank us) he graced us with a not so convincing thank you and proceeded to tell us that, “you know, if you’re looking for gift ideas for your mother and me in the future, we like tickets to shows. You know concerts, Broadway plays, that kind of thing”. My husband was beside himself over his father’s audacity to inform us of what to buy him. I, on the other hand, was not surprised. After all, if tickets are what he wants, tickets he shall get…..next Christmas, I hope he enjoys his night out to see THE VAGINA MONOLOGUES.

Have any good examples of bad gifts? Post them here!

>A Little Help Here?

2

15 years

by admin in Uncategorized

>Intentional Inefficiency is our term for the type of passive aggressive behavior that occurs when a person complies with a given request, but carries it out in an unacceptable manner. The frustrated requestor usually ends up doing the task himself and refrains from asking the person to do it again in the future…which suits the passive aggressive person just perfectly!

This great example of intentional inefficiency was posted on Passive Aggressive Diaries.com by “anonymous” on 9/16/09:

Frequently when I ask my boyfriend to help out cooking, which he absolutely hates, I find that he, all the sudden, loses his ability to function properly on his own. He moves at about the pace of a snail. He claims that he does not know what he’s doing and that he never learned how to cook. I therefore explain to him exactly how he is supposed to do that particular task. He then proceeds to act extremely clueless, like I’m explaining how to do brain surgery. Then I even show him. Once I’ve shown him the proper way to cut the fat off of a piece of chicken, he annoyingly, and EXTREMELY slowly, proceeds to do so making sure to do it in a way unlike that which I just showed him. He does so because he knows that once I finish preparing everything else, I will become annoyed with his lack of production and take over the task myself.

Do you have examples of intentional efficiency or other passive aggressive behavior in your relationship? Please post them here!

>A Little Help Here?

0

15 years

by signewhitson in intentional inefficiency, relationships

>Intentional Inefficiency is our term for the type of passive aggressive behavior that occurs when a person complies with a given request, but carries it out in an unacceptable manner. The frustrated requestor usually ends up doing the task himself and refrains from asking the person to do it again in the future…which suits the passive aggressive person just perfectly!

This great example of intentional inefficiency was posted on Passive Aggressive Diaries.com by “anonymous” on 9/16/09:

Frequently when I ask my boyfriend to help out cooking, which he absolutely hates, I find that he, all the sudden, loses his ability to function properly on his own. He moves at about the pace of a snail. He claims that he does not know what he’s doing and that he never learned how to cook. I therefore explain to him exactly how he is supposed to do that particular task. He then proceeds to act extremely clueless, like I’m explaining how to do brain surgery. Then I even show him. Once I’ve shown him the proper way to cut the fat off of a piece of chicken, he annoyingly, and EXTREMELY slowly, proceeds to do so making sure to do it in a way unlike that which I just showed him. He does so because he knows that once I finish preparing everything else, I will become annoyed with his lack of production and take over the task myself.

Do you have examples of intentional efficiency or other passive aggressive behavior in your relationship? Please post them here!

>Film Critic, Anyone?

8

15 years

by admin in Uncategorized

>Examples of passive aggression are all over the big screen! Given how often this behavior occurs and how funny it can sometimes be, it’s perfect fodder for Reality TV casting agents and screenwriters who want to show trouble in relationships! Next time you are watching a movie or indulging in some good TV and see a passive aggressive scene, log on to the site and let us all know about it!

Here are a few favorites:

Bride Wars with Ann Hathaway and Kate Hudson
If you want to see brizedilla bad behavior in film, Bride Wars is Passive Aggression 101. After the stage is set for two best friends to have dueling weddings, the plot is just one act of covert sabotage after another. From one bride trying to get the other too fat to fit into her Vera Wang wedding dress to the other swapping a sentimental wedding slide show for a montage of drunken college photos to be broadcast as the bride walks up the aisle, the movie shows scene after scene of slapstick passive aggressive pranks.

MTV’s The Real World
The cast of Spring 2009’s MTV Real World–Brooklyn has all of the requisite melodrama that the show is known for and…better yet…some truly laughable passive aggression! If you want to see classic passive aggressive behavior in action, check out Episode 8, “Angry Boys and Dirty Girls” on MTV.com. To preview a few, check out the note that is left in the sink of dirty dishes and the part where Scott hides the car keys from the girls, as his way of getting back at them for not cleaning said dishes! Also, you can see a great example of a Passive Aggressive Conflict Cycle as the girls (Sarah in particular) maintain their composure but get the boys (JD most of all) to lose their cool. Has anyone seen the episode? Here’s a link to MTV’s site to see for yourself. (Fast Forward to about 20 minutes into the episode to see a classic few minutes of key hiding!) http://www.mtv.com/videos/real-world-brooklyn-ep-8-angry-boys-and-dirty-girls/1605449/playlist.jhtml

27 Dresses with Katherine Heigl
Heigl’s character was furious that her sister pretended to be someone she wasn’t (vegetarian, mountain climber, earth mamma) just to steal-away the man of her dreams. So, on the night of their engagement party, Katherine played a slideshow for the guests – complete with pics of her dear sister eating chicken wings and engaging in various non-earth-friendly acts. Needless to say – the wedding was OFF. OUCH!

The Break-Up with Jennifer Anniston and Vince Vaughn
In this battle-of-the-exes movie, both Anniston’s character (Brooke) and Vaughn’s (Gary) are angry over their break-up and determined not to vacate their shared, expensive Chicago condo until it is sold. Their post-break-up co-habitation is the source of much passive aggression, as the exes do everything BUT talk directly about their feelings. Hidden revenge, “jokes” that cut deeply, making each other jealous, being stood up for dates, feigned confusion when confronted and denial of hurt feelings are among the ways Brooke and Gary drive each other crazy in passive aggressive ways.

An Ideal Husband with Julianne Moore
Julianne Moore demonstrates a dead-on “angry smile” in this film, as her character, Mrs. Cheveley, threatens to expose past indiscretions of Sir Robert Chiltern. Pay attention to the P.S. of the letter she writes him and the expression on her face as she exposes Chiltern’s secret and pits him against his wife. This movie is also a great example of passive aggressive behavior as characteristic of a cultural norm. In the high society, politically powerful atmosphere of Great Britian circa 1895, a “lady” would never express her anger directly…but Moore’s character comes out with her passive aggressive guns blazing!

Meet the Parents with Ben Stiller and Robert deNiro
This film includes lots of passive aggressive behavior on the part of the father (Robert deNiro) as he meets his soon-to-be son-in-law (Stiller) and gives him a little preview of what life will be like in the family. Most notable are the father’s comments about Greg’s choice of nursing as a profession.

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood with Sandra Bullock
In this movie, neither mother nor daughter wants to take steps to repair the deep-seated rift that separates them. They engage in a series of passive aggressive acts–including a funny exchange of FedEx packages–to avoid confronting each other directly about their anger.

Please post comments here with more examples of passive aggressive scenes from film and TV…

>Film Critic, Anyone?

63

15 years

by signewhitson in films, movies, passive aggression, Reality TV, television