Internationally recognized author & educator for professionals, parents, and kids
bullying
Nothing Matches the Power of a Parent Championing Her Child
13 years
…and that’s why this article moved me to tears. I love this heartfelt defense of a child’s right to be who he is–whatever he is. I love the way this Mama-bear’s claws that come out to protect and honor her son:
Keep it away from all our kids. It’s my responsibility as a mother, as a human being, to stand up and say “No more.” No, you are not allowed to say those things in front of my children, not unless you want to deal with me. Because I will not allow any of my sons to be viciously attacked without seeing me defend them. They will never have to doubt for a second exactly where their parents stand, and never have to live in fear of who they are.
Please check out the full, powerful article at this link, on the HuffingtonPost.
Spot-On Advice for Young Girls Pondering a “Friend Divorce”
13 years
If you’ve ever been in a situation where you need to find the right words to tell a young girl that what she’s about to do is wrong…then check out this column in Teen Vogue, written by Odd Girl Out author, Rachel Simmons.
If you read my blog, you know I’m a big fan of her work and her wisdom–and this is a perfect example of why. I love how Rachel is so honest and forthright in her advice to the girls–while never talking down to them and always maintaining respect for their experiences.
My fingers are crossed that when the time comes, I–and all of my Mom friends–will be able to advise my own daughters this well!
7 Skills Parents Can Teach Their Kids for Standing Up to Bullies
13 years
Click here to check out this article, posted on the website Parents Are Important, featuring 7 skills parents can teach their kids, for standing up to bullying.
http://www.parentsareimportant.com/2011/12/7-skills-for-teaching-your-child-to.html
A Stop to Bullying Starts with Changing a Mindset
13 years
“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
When it comes to the damage that bullying can do to a young person’s self-esteem (not to mention desire to go to school, academic success, relationships at home, etc), this old adage has been proven untrue a million times over.
The article posted below talks about the importance of changing mindsets when it comes to the real and lasting damage that bullying can do. It also emphasizes the role of technology in bullying and how important it is that parents are aware of how their kids are using technology to impact others.
In Friendship & Other Weapons, I dedicate a chapter to teaching kids skills for the ethical use of technology and social media. The chapter is available for preview on amazon.com. Please check it out, along with this great article on changing mindsets:
http://brick.patch.com/articles/stopping-bullying-starts-with-changing-a-mindset
Rachel Simmons Offers Parents Advice on Cell Phone and Social Media Limits
60313 years
Rachel Simmons, bestselling author of Odd Girl Out and co-founder of the Girls Leadership Institute (GLI), offers great insights and advice for parents on how to walk the fine line between stalking their children’s technology usage and taking a totally hands-off approach. Her advice on effective limit-setting–and why limits are so important socially and academically–is great:
Girls Not as Nice as Sugar and Spice
013 years
Check out this news story from “across the pond:” Friendship & Other Weapons is featured in an article in the Irish Independent newspaper!
http://www.independent.ie/lifestyle/parenting/girls-not-as-nice-as-sugar-and-spice-2947208.html
The Nail in the Fence: A Story about the Scars Left by Words Said in Anger
67213 years
This story, most recently posted on Sue Atkins’ (The Parenting Expert) website, reminds me of an activity I recently posted that teaches kids about the impact of bullying words. The basic message of “The Nail in the Fence” is the same: words can wound, so use them with care.
If you are living or working with kids and teaching important lessons about anger management, this is a great read:
The Nail in the Fence
There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.
The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one.”
Jane Lynch on Being an Advocate for Bullied Kids
118613 years
If you haven’t seen it yet, please go to my Facebook page to check out Jane Lynch’s amazing, spot-on anti-bullying video. My favorite part:
“Bullying makes children feel like they want to be invisible. Let’s let them know that we see them, we are listening, and they can count on us to make their lives better.”
The Role of Compassion in Stopping Bullying
136613 years
My heart is heavy after reading this story about Ashlynn Conner, a 10-year old child who hung herself. According to her parents, Ashlynn was relentlessly bullied in school.
I always wonder about the bully and what motivates someone to be relentlessly cruel. I ache for kids like Ashlynn who are hopeless, and see no light at the end of the tunnel. And I think about all of the other kids in her world who knew about the aggression she was facing.
Even having written a book on the subject, I don’t pretend to have any simple answers about how to stop bullying. It’s a complicated problem and intervention has to occur on multiple levels. That’s jargon for: we’ve got a LOT of work to do! What I do know, though, is that fostering compassion is one of the most important missing links when it comes to creating a climate in which bullying becomes unacceptable.
In this recent HuffingtonPost article, I wrote about 7 ways that parents and nurturing adults can help kids become more compassionate. I think it’s a mistake to assume that kids are either compassionate or they’re not. Big hearts can be nurtured and compassionate kids hold a critically important key in creating cultures where bullying is not tolerated.
Whenever I talk with groups of kids about bullying, I share this mantra: It is never OK to do nothing about bullying. I have kids repeat the phrase. I encourage them to shout it. Sometimes, we see if the whole building can hear us! I want kids to remember this truism.
Today, after reading Ashlynn’s story, another set of words–this time from Albert Einstein–are echoing in my head:
“The world is a dangerous place not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing.”
What Parents Need to Know to Protect Their Children from Bullying
48413 years
With just 3 days left before the publication of Friendship & Other Weapons, please check out this HuffingtonPost article on helping kids develop a positive future orientation:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/signe-whitson/coping-with-bullying_b_1089911.html