building self-esteem in girls

Thinner, Sexier, Hotter: 3 Ways to Help Your Daughter Resist Media Pressures

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How many times have you heard your daughter singing along to a popular song on the radio and innocently belting out the kind of lyrics that would otherwise get her sent to her room? In the moment, you believe (desperately want to believe!) that she is unaware of the innuendo and unaffected by its explicit content. But messages embedded in song lyrics, along with video imagery, and advertising influence do have an impact on the ways girls think about themselves and their relationships with others. Without having to resort to a full-on pop music ban or complete shunning of media, you can help your daughters-and other young girls-become aware of media messages that violate values and degrade girls.

Please check out my article at Huff Post for ideas on talking to girls about media pressures:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/signe-whitson/thinner-sexier-hotter-3-w_b_1007496.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1751110,b=facebook

Miss Representation: How Girls are Influenced by the Media

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Wow. Some things you know intuitively, but you don’t take the time to consider how astounding they are until someone puts all of the pieces together like this filmmaker did.   In Friendship & Other Weapons, parents and professionals have three chapters devoted to helping kids examine media influences and pressures, knowing that awareness can build resistance.

Please check out this amazing short film–with your daughter!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=2349117563337

Stopping Bullying: Turning Passive Bystanders Into Powerful Allies

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I am loving AC360’s special series this week on stopping bullying–especially the exploration of sociologist Robert Faris’ study that focuses on bystanders as change agents.  We can teach kids specific skills for becoming allies before, during, and after incidents of bullying!   This is one of the focus areas in the Friendship & Other Weapons curriculum and the main emphasis in the Mother-Daughter workshop I will be doing for the Girl Scouts of Eastern PA on 10/22.

Check out last night’s AC360 segment: <object width=”416″ height=”374″ classid=”clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000″ id=”ep”><param name=”allowfullscreen” value=”true” /><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always” /><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent” /><param name=”movie” value=”http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=us/2011/10/10/ac-bullying-faris-simmons.cnn” /><param name=”bgcolor” value=”#000000″ />[cnnvideo url=’http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2011/10/10/ac-bullying-faris-simmons.cnn’ inline=’true’]</object>

Bullyproofing – Four Steps to Build Your Daughter’s Personal Power

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What happens when harmless spats over sharing toys are replaced by cruel cyber-rumors about liking boys? Will your daughter know what to do when pint-sized pushes evolve into painful tween shoves? When the simplicity of forming a friendship just by climbing the same jungle gym is replaced by the intricacy of scaling middle-school social ladders, how can you teach your daughter to stand up to bullies?

http://www.jkp.com/blog/2011/10/article-signe-whitson-bullyproofing-four-steps-to-build-your-daughters-personal-power/

Better Than You by Trudy Ludwig

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I first fell in love with Trudy Ludwig’s writing when I read My Secret Bully  It was the perfect Read & Discuss student activity to include in my own book, Friendship and Other Weapons: Group Activities to Help Young Girls Aged 5-11 to Cope With Bullying.  Since then, I’ve become a avid fan of Ludwig’s books for reading and sharing with kids–including my own daughters, ages 8 & 5.Yesterday afternoon, when our copy of her latest book,  Better Than You arrived, we all cozied up on the sofa, eager for another good read.  Indeed!  Both of my kids are all too familiar with the “Jake-type:” the kid who has an incessant need to one-up everyone else.  They both really related to the pufferfish analogy about kids who brag a lot and understood exactly what Ludwig means when she writes, “But when a kid acts like a pufferfish, he takes up so much space that he can also push friends away.”  Brilliant.  So simple, so clear, and so true.

As a Mom of kids who have been guilty of “puffing” a time or two themselves–particularly with each other–Better Than You was a great conversation starter and powerful reminder of how others perceive puffery and bragging.  This book is a must read for kids and a must-share for parents, teachers, counselors, and anyone living or working with kids.

Helping Kids Make Smart Choices for Expressing Anger

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It’s one thing to write about helping kids make smart choices when it comes to expressing anger — it’s another thing to watch an emotional situation play out right before your eyes and hope that your own child will make a good decision! Last weekend, I took my daughter and her friend to a pizza-n-games type of place. For them, making time for the delicious pizza buffet is like “having” to eat their veggies before they can enjoy dessert; wobbly crane machines and spinning prize wheels are the true delight of the restaurant. (more…)

How to Be Angry Featured on Parenting Unplugged

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I had the lovely, lively opportunity to chat with Todd and Laura Mansfield, hosts of Parenting Unplugged, about How To Be Angry and ways parents can teach their kids skills for managing intense emotions.  Have 20 minutes?  Have a listen…

http://www.parentingunpluggedradio.com/2011/09/28/3-ways-to-help-your-children-stay-safe-while-being-angry/

 

Dealing with Rumors, Gossip, and Reputations

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Check out this great article by Rachel Simmons, as featured in Teen Vogue: http://www.teenvogue.com/connect/2011/09/reputation-rehab?currentPage=1  Simmons shares real life stories of ruined reputations and how girls can cope with social ostracism.

The article is jam-packed with pearls of wisdom, but this quote from one of the gossip-survivors just rings especially true:

Elsa realized that denying the rumors seemed to make them worse, so she decided  to confront them head-on. “The more I was like, ‘It happened. Get over it,’ the  more people would drop it. I think that when you don’t tell people things and  they know it, they become even more invested in figuring out what it is. If  you’re honest and up-front about it, it goes away.”

Read More http://www.teenvogue.com/connect/2011/09/reputation-rehab#ixzz1Z9uExJkF

Re-thinking the “Drama” Approach to Bullying

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Please check out this is great, thought-provoking op-ed piece from the NY Times.  I whole-heartedly agree that with the authors that:

Interventions must focus on positive concepts like healthy relationships and digital citizenship rather than starting with the negative framing of bullying. The key is to help young people feel independently strong, confident and capable without first requiring them to see themselves as either an oppressed person or an oppressor.

It’s the social worker in me, I suppose; I am a strengths-perspective kinda girl.  In my new book, this is the approach I take.    While the book title Friendship & Other Weapons is used to convey to adult readers the nature of how girl bullying is acted out within relationships, girl participants will come to know their membership as part of a Real Friendships group.  As such, the solution-focused lessons, engaging group activities and relevant discussions will help girls cope with “drama” in honest, relationship-enhancing, self-affirming ways.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/23/opinion/why-cyberbullying-rhetoric-misses-the-mark.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

3 Strategies to Teach Your Kids How to Express Anger Effectively

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Have you ever been in a situation where you were so overwhelmed with feelings of anger that you were at a loss for words? You had the presence of mind to know all of the things that you shouldn’t say, but weren’t quite sure how to express your true feelings without damaging your relationship.

Adults often struggle with effectively communicating their angry feelings. For children, this challenge is doubly difficult; kids don’t want to get in trouble for expressing themselves aggressively, but they often lack the skills for communicating assertively.

Parents can help their kids develop specific skills for assertive anger expression.  Check out these three strategies, excerpted from, How to Be Angry: An Assertive Anger Expression Group Guide for Kids and Teens.

 

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