bullying

Stopping Bullying: Turning Passive Bystanders Into Powerful Allies

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I am loving AC360’s special series this week on stopping bullying–especially the exploration of sociologist Robert Faris’ study that focuses on bystanders as change agents.  We can teach kids specific skills for becoming allies before, during, and after incidents of bullying!   This is one of the focus areas in the Friendship & Other Weapons curriculum and the main emphasis in the Mother-Daughter workshop I will be doing for the Girl Scouts of Eastern PA on 10/22.

Check out last night’s AC360 segment: <object width=”416″ height=”374″ classid=”clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000″ id=”ep”><param name=”allowfullscreen” value=”true” /><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always” /><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent” /><param name=”movie” value=”http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=us/2011/10/10/ac-bullying-faris-simmons.cnn” /><param name=”bgcolor” value=”#000000″ />[cnnvideo url=’http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2011/10/10/ac-bullying-faris-simmons.cnn’ inline=’true’]</object>

Social Combat in Schools: Bullying on Anderson Cooper 360

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As part of his ongoing series this week on the subject of bullying, Anderson Cooper talks to sociologist Robert Faris and author Rachel Simmons about the concept of “social combat,” and the culture of victimization in schools. This is a really interesting clip, revealing which kids tend to be most involved in bullying and which ones tend to stay above the fray. Revealing.

http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=us/2011/10/10/ac-bullying-faris-simmons.cnn

Bullyproofing – Four Steps to Build Your Daughter’s Personal Power

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What happens when harmless spats over sharing toys are replaced by cruel cyber-rumors about liking boys? Will your daughter know what to do when pint-sized pushes evolve into painful tween shoves? When the simplicity of forming a friendship just by climbing the same jungle gym is replaced by the intricacy of scaling middle-school social ladders, how can you teach your daughter to stand up to bullies?

http://www.jkp.com/blog/2011/10/article-signe-whitson-bullyproofing-four-steps-to-build-your-daughters-personal-power/

An Anti-Bullying Message that Encourages Bystanders to Make a Difference

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Please check out this great organization, Sweethearts and Heroes:

“You can hang up all the zero-tolerance posters you want, but at the end of the  day they don’t do a lot,” Murphy said. “It’s the students who are going to do  something about it. Victims believe they are the problem; that’s why they end up  killing themselves. You can be a hero to a kid if you pull him or her aside and  say, ‘Don’t worry about that guy; he’s like that to everybody.’ ”

Read more: http://www.timesunion.com/local/article/Taking-on-bullies-from-the-sidelines-2199608.php#ixzz1Ztzy3ryt

Helping Kids Make Smart Choices for Expressing Anger

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It’s one thing to write about helping kids make smart choices when it comes to expressing anger — it’s another thing to watch an emotional situation play out right before your eyes and hope that your own child will make a good decision! Last weekend, I took my daughter and her friend to a pizza-n-games type of place. For them, making time for the delicious pizza buffet is like “having” to eat their veggies before they can enjoy dessert; wobbly crane machines and spinning prize wheels are the true delight of the restaurant. (more…)

Stomp Out Bullying Day: 10/3/11

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In honor of the occasion:

How to Be Angry Featured on Parenting Unplugged

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I had the lovely, lively opportunity to chat with Todd and Laura Mansfield, hosts of Parenting Unplugged, about How To Be Angry and ways parents can teach their kids skills for managing intense emotions.  Have 20 minutes?  Have a listen…

http://www.parentingunpluggedradio.com/2011/09/28/3-ways-to-help-your-children-stay-safe-while-being-angry/

 

Dealing with Rumors, Gossip, and Reputations

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Check out this great article by Rachel Simmons, as featured in Teen Vogue: http://www.teenvogue.com/connect/2011/09/reputation-rehab?currentPage=1  Simmons shares real life stories of ruined reputations and how girls can cope with social ostracism.

The article is jam-packed with pearls of wisdom, but this quote from one of the gossip-survivors just rings especially true:

Elsa realized that denying the rumors seemed to make them worse, so she decided  to confront them head-on. “The more I was like, ‘It happened. Get over it,’ the  more people would drop it. I think that when you don’t tell people things and  they know it, they become even more invested in figuring out what it is. If  you’re honest and up-front about it, it goes away.”

Read More http://www.teenvogue.com/connect/2011/09/reputation-rehab#ixzz1Z9uExJkF

Re-thinking the “Drama” Approach to Bullying

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Please check out this is great, thought-provoking op-ed piece from the NY Times.  I whole-heartedly agree that with the authors that:

Interventions must focus on positive concepts like healthy relationships and digital citizenship rather than starting with the negative framing of bullying. The key is to help young people feel independently strong, confident and capable without first requiring them to see themselves as either an oppressed person or an oppressor.

It’s the social worker in me, I suppose; I am a strengths-perspective kinda girl.  In my new book, this is the approach I take.    While the book title Friendship & Other Weapons is used to convey to adult readers the nature of how girl bullying is acted out within relationships, girl participants will come to know their membership as part of a Real Friendships group.  As such, the solution-focused lessons, engaging group activities and relevant discussions will help girls cope with “drama” in honest, relationship-enhancing, self-affirming ways.

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/23/opinion/why-cyberbullying-rhetoric-misses-the-mark.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

Stop Bullying: Speak Up

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If you didn’t see it live, check out AC 360’s first segment from tonight’s broadcast, on the subject of Stopping Bullying.  A sad, sad story about the recent suicide of a 14 year old young man from New York, a maddening and unconscionable set of interviews from claim-to-be-Christian groups, and a brilliant pair of interviews from Rosalind Wiseman and Rachel Simmons.

Also, check out Anderson Cooper’s Stop Bullying: Speak Up Pledge via Facebook.

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