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3 Ways that Kids’ Anger Bites Back
78313 years
How many of you were told as a child, “Don’t be mad at your friend. She was just kidding,” or even “It’s not nice to be angry with your parents?” How many of you–gulp–have even uttered messages like these to your own children? Don’t worry; my hand is raised also. Despite the fact that I just wrote a book about helping kids accept and manage angry feelings, sometimes these knee-jerk responses just fly out of my mouth–as they do everyone else’s.
Are they the worst things to say to a child? Well, having worked for several years with abused children, I can definitively say (more…)
Passive Aggressive E-Mail at Work
42413 years
Hilarious YouTube clip on passive aggressive e-mail exchanges between co-workers. I use this in all of my Angry Smile workshops. It’s funny because IT’S SO TRUE!
Decision, Decisions: Helping Kids Make Constructive Choices for Expressing Anger
43713 years
Pack lunch or buy it? Headband or hairclip? Tell the truth or spare her feelings with a little white lie? Every day, kids face dozens of choices, from the ordinary to the complicated. One of the most important decisions a young person makes each day has to do with how he handles angry feelings. (more…)
Passive Aggressive Behavior in Schools: One Teacher’s Learning Experience
128813 years
I just received this great bit of feedback from a teacher in Alaska who recently completed the one-day training on The Angry Smile. The feedback I’d like to return to her: don’t beat yourself up about the “could’ve, should’ve, and would’ve.” We all make mistakes with the kids we are trying to help and we all wish we could do even more for them. It’s an incredibly difficult profession!
Learning new strategies and applying them is something to feel proud of and excited about. So, no more “Shame on me’s!” Feel good about all of your hard work–it’s tiring and often thankless, but the rewards in lives-changed and hearts-touched are endless.
Participant’s Feedback:
For years I’ve referred to many of the behaviors on the
“Recognizing the Warning Signs” page as self-destructive. I suppose they are, but I had never viewed
them from the viewpoint of how they might be symptoms of passive-aggressive
patterns. Often knowing why a student is
acting a particular way is the one piece of information we lack, yet it’s the
most crucial one. Now I understand that
Elijah turned in poor quality work with appalling penmanship as a strategy to
deal with his anger. I can even begin to
formulate a theory as to what his anger might be about, but alas this student
has moved on from my class. I think I
will forever remember him as the student I was able to help too late. For future students, however, the Angry Smile
class has provided me with a great introduction to what I would like to learn
about passive-aggressive behavior.
I wish I could go back and say to this student, “I’m
thinking you must find this work to be a waste of your time. I think we should forget about this
assignment and work together to find some tasks that you will feel good about
doing.” Or, “I see that you might have
completed your work, but once again I am not able to clearly read your
handwriting. I really wish I could
accurately read your story, because I know you have a vivid imagination. I sometimes feel like I might be missing the
most important parts.” Did I ever tell
him in a positive way that his handwriting stunk? Never, not once in three years. Shame on me!
This is another class that I would love to explore in
greater depth. I can see myself in the fall better equipped to recognize those warning signs
and patterns, and I think that is a good first step.
Operation Beautiful: Ending Negative Self-Talk, One Post-It Note at a Time
013 years
This article was originally posted on Mom It Forward on 6/6/11:
Are you ever your own worst enemy? Does the little voice inside your head ever say cruel, demeaning things like, “You’re fat,” or “You’ll never be good enough?” After a heart-to-heart with yourself, are you left feeling discouraged and demeaned?
Caitlin Boyle, founder of OperationBeautiful.com, was tired of fighting with (and losing to) her inner voice. One day—a particularly bad day—she rebelled. She wrote the words, “You are Beautiful” on a post-it note and stuck it to a public bathroom mirror. And, as they say, the rest was history. (more…)
I Was So Mad! Teaching Assertive Anger Expression to Kids
72313 years
From the cries of infancy, to the tantrums of toddlerhood, and hopefully the self-control of school-age years, developing the delicate art of anger expression is a process for children. Some little ones seem to be born with a cool head while others show their hot-tempers right from birth. No matter what your child’s temperament, all people have choices when it comes to handling angry feelings. Parents play the crucial role in helping their children make healthy choices when it comes to anger expression. Consider (more…)
4 Strategies for Confronting Passive Aggressive Behavior in Your Relationship
71713 years
One of my favorite stories about passive aggressive behavior in a marriage goes like this:
“Cash, check or charge?” I asked, after folding the items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse. “So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked. “No,” she replied, “but my husband refused to go shopping with me and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”
In relationships, passive aggressive behaviors are often used to avoid the direct confrontation of short-term conflict, but in the long-term, these dynamics can be even more destructive to marriage than outright aggression. To keep assertive communication
>3 Steps for Improving Communication with a Passive Aggressive Spouse
014 years
by signewhitson
in angry smile, assertiveness, husbands, husbands and wives, Levels of passive aggression, marital conflict, passive aggression, passive aggression in relationships, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior in relationships, relationships, silent treatment, Uncategorized, wives
>Check out this article about how to effectively confront passive aggressive behavior in your relationship, posted on Mom It Forward