assertiveness

Stopping Bullying: Turning Passive Bystanders Into Powerful Allies

650
13 years
by in anger, angry smile, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, Parenting

I am loving AC360’s special series this week on stopping bullying–especially the exploration of sociologist Robert Faris’ study that focuses on bystanders as change agents.  We can teach kids specific skills for becoming allies before, during, and after incidents of bullying!   This is one of the focus areas in the Friendship & Other Weapons curriculum and the main emphasis in the Mother-Daughter workshop I will be doing for the Girl Scouts of Eastern PA on 10/22.

Check out last night’s AC360 segment: <object width=”416″ height=”374″ classid=”clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000″ id=”ep”><param name=”allowfullscreen” value=”true” /><param name=”allowscriptaccess” value=”always” /><param name=”wmode” value=”transparent” /><param name=”movie” value=”http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/apps/cvp/3.0/swf/cnn_416x234_embed.swf?context=embed&videoId=us/2011/10/10/ac-bullying-faris-simmons.cnn” /><param name=”bgcolor” value=”#000000″ />[cnnvideo url=’http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2011/10/10/ac-bullying-faris-simmons.cnn’ inline=’true’]</object>

The Agony of Victory and the Defeat of Healthy Communication

855
13 years
by in anger, angry smile, assertiveness, Being a Mom, family members, Parenting, passive aggression, passive aggression by children, passive aggression in families, passive aggression in girls, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior in families

Dealing with passive aggressive communication in your household?  Check out my post on Psychology Today:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/passive-aggressive-diaries/201110/the-agony-victory-and-the-defeat-healthy-communication

Bullyproofing – Four Steps to Build Your Daughter’s Personal Power

0
13 years
by in anger, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, e-mail, Facebook, friends, kids, Parenting

What happens when harmless spats over sharing toys are replaced by cruel cyber-rumors about liking boys? Will your daughter know what to do when pint-sized pushes evolve into painful tween shoves? When the simplicity of forming a friendship just by climbing the same jungle gym is replaced by the intricacy of scaling middle-school social ladders, how can you teach your daughter to stand up to bullies?

http://www.jkp.com/blog/2011/10/article-signe-whitson-bullyproofing-four-steps-to-build-your-daughters-personal-power/

Helping Kids Make Smart Choices for Expressing Anger

1024
13 years
by in anger, angry smile, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, friends, kids, Parenting, passive aggression, passive aggression by children

It’s one thing to write about helping kids make smart choices when it comes to expressing anger — it’s another thing to watch an emotional situation play out right before your eyes and hope that your own child will make a good decision! Last weekend, I took my daughter and her friend to a pizza-n-games type of place. For them, making time for the delicious pizza buffet is like “having” to eat their veggies before they can enjoy dessert; wobbly crane machines and spinning prize wheels are the true delight of the restaurant. (more…)

How to Be Angry Featured on Parenting Unplugged

397
13 years
by in anger, angry smile, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, Life Space Crisis Intervention, Parenting

I had the lovely, lively opportunity to chat with Todd and Laura Mansfield, hosts of Parenting Unplugged, about How To Be Angry and ways parents can teach their kids skills for managing intense emotions.  Have 20 minutes?  Have a listen…

http://www.parentingunpluggedradio.com/2011/09/28/3-ways-to-help-your-children-stay-safe-while-being-angry/

 

Training on How to Manage Passive Aggressive Behavior

1046
13 years
by in anger, angry smile, assertiveness, hidden revenge, intentional inefficiency, Levels of passive aggression, Life Space Crisis Intervention, passive aggression, passive aggression in families, passive aggression in relationships, passive aggressive, passive aggressive behavior at work, passive aggressive conflict cycle

This November 18th, the New Hampshire Center for Effective Behavioral Interventions and Supports (NH CEBIS) will host a one-day training on The Angry Smile (see Workshops & Speaking Page for full details).

Do you live or work with someone who:

  • Denies or represses feelings of anger
  •  Withdraws and sulks
  • Sends hidden, coded and confusing messages when frustrated
  • Procrastinates or carries out tasks inefficiently
  • Is quietly manipulative and controlling
  • Makes endless promises to change
  • Creates a feeling in others of being on an emotional roller coater

This workshop takes an in-depth look at the roots of passive aggression, exploring the behavior at five distinct and (more…)

Dealing with Rumors, Gossip, and Reputations

995
13 years
by in assertiveness, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, Facebook, friends, online, Parenting

Check out this great article by Rachel Simmons, as featured in Teen Vogue: http://www.teenvogue.com/connect/2011/09/reputation-rehab?currentPage=1  Simmons shares real life stories of ruined reputations and how girls can cope with social ostracism.

The article is jam-packed with pearls of wisdom, but this quote from one of the gossip-survivors just rings especially true:

Elsa realized that denying the rumors seemed to make them worse, so she decided  to confront them head-on. “The more I was like, ‘It happened. Get over it,’ the  more people would drop it. I think that when you don’t tell people things and  they know it, they become even more invested in figuring out what it is. If  you’re honest and up-front about it, it goes away.”

Read More http://www.teenvogue.com/connect/2011/09/reputation-rehab#ixzz1Z9uExJkF

3 Strategies to Teach Your Kids How to Express Anger Effectively

10
13 years
by in anger, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, Parenting

Have you ever been in a situation where you were so overwhelmed with feelings of anger that you were at a loss for words? You had the presence of mind to know all of the things that you shouldn’t say, but weren’t quite sure how to express your true feelings without damaging your relationship.

Adults often struggle with effectively communicating their angry feelings. For children, this challenge is doubly difficult; kids don’t want to get in trouble for expressing themselves aggressively, but they often lack the skills for communicating assertively.

Parents can help their kids develop specific skills for assertive anger expression.  Check out these three strategies, excerpted from, How to Be Angry: An Assertive Anger Expression Group Guide for Kids and Teens.

 

4 Rules for Using Assertive Communication to Stand Up to Bullies

583
14 years
by in anger, angry smile, assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, friends, kids, Parenting

As sure as kids will go back to school each Fall in the U.S., bullying will be encountered in the classroom each school year. In these early days of August and September classes, would-be bullies are getting a feel for who they think might be an easy mark in the class. As the days wear on and a bully confirms that he or she can pick on specific classmates without their standing up for themselves, the bullying escalates. (more…)

Confessions of a Former Bully

1189
14 years
by in assertiveness, Being a Mom, building self-esteem in girls, bullying, cyberbullying, friends, internet, kids, online, Parenting

In Friendship & Other Weapons, I feature an activity for girls based on Trudy Ludwig’s fantastic book, My Secret Bully.  The book is all about how bullying can be disguised as friendship and how particularly painful this type of subtle, hidden, “I Was Just Kidding” aggression can be.  My Secret Bully also offers kids great insights into how to cope with bullying effectively, from sharing experiences with trusted adults to standing up for themselves.  I love it–a definite favorite!

Trudy Ludwig’s most recent book, Confessions of a Former Bully, also provides great ideas and insights for handling bullying.  The following blog post, from the School Counselor Blog, talks about an activity that one school counselor has developed, based on Ludwig’s new work:

http://www.schcounselor.com/2011/09/i-made-bully-hat.html#comment-form

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Signe Whitson is an author and educator on bullying, crisis intervention, and child and adolescent emotional and behavioral health. In her articles, books, and training workshops, Signe provides down-to-earth, practical advice for professionals and parents on navigating the daily challenges of living and working with children, tweens and teens.

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