Internationally recognized author & educator for professionals, parents, and kids
Archive for July, 2011
Restaurant Bans Dining for Kids Under 6: What Do You Think?
79313 years
This headline caught my eye because a month ago, I, too passed a restaurant with a bold sign out front banning children. I had a visceral response of, “who would want to eat in your stinkin’ restaurant anyway?” and walked right on by, amazed that any beachfront restaurant would so boldly alienate families. I guess their strategy is to attract couples…
What do you think about this apparently-growing practice by restaurants?
5 Steps for Turning Stressful Situations into Learning Opportunities with Kids
117113 years
6-year old Ian’s parents are going through a bitter divorce. With his estranged mom and dad still living under the same roof, Ian experiences a chaotic home environment that includes domestic violence and inconsistent care. At school, Ian often has unexplained meltdowns and major over-reactions to simple requests by his teachers. This morning, when his first period teacher asked him to take out his math homework, he called her a “Bitch” and kicked his chair to the floor. (more…)
The Baby and the Butterfly: How Struggles Help Your Child Grow
36513 years
Babies enter into the world utterly dependent on their caregivers. Long days, sleepless nights, and year upon year of loving, worrying, feeding, bathing, changing, soothing, and caring conditions us to help our children meet any need and overcome any challenge. The art of good parenting comes in knowing when to help our children grow strong by letting them struggle on their own.
The story of The Man and the Butterfly demonstrates the importance of helping wisely:
A man found a cocoon of a butterfly.
One day a small opening appeared. He sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole.
Then it seemed to stop making any progress.
It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther.
So the man decided to help the butterfly. He took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon.
The butterfly then emerged easily.
But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings.
The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened!
In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly.
The man is driven by his compassion for the butterfly’s struggle and by his desire to make things easier for the emerging creature. But struggling through its restricting cocoon is the butterfly’s only way of forcing fluid from its body into its wings and it is only after this process is complete that a butterfly’s wings are prepared for flight. In his well-intentioned haste, the man bypassed one of nature’s most efficient and necessary processes, crippling the very life he meant to aid.
How do you feel when you watch your little one face struggles? It is so instinctual for parents to want to rush in and help (and certainly any health and safety-related situations call for immediate intervention) but how do you fight the urge to solve the kinds of challenges that are necessary for your child’s healthy emotional growth?
Sometimes struggles are exactly what our children need in order to grow strong and fly with their own competent wings. A childhood without challenges soothes our parenting minds but stunts our children’s ability to cope, persist, and persevere.
Odd Girl Out: Newly Revised & Updated
1013 years
by admin
in Uncategorized
I got a great little note in my Inbox today from amazon.com: my pre-ordered copy of Rachel Simmon’s newly revised and updated edition of Odd Girl Out has been shipped! Hooray–SO looking forward to checking out the four new chapters of strategies and insights written directly for girls, their parents, and the professionals who work with them. Simmons is one of the pioneers of shining the light on the complexity, subtly, and often-unimaginable cruelty of bullying among young girls and in my book, one of the most innovative, articulate, and forward-thinking women I know. Can’t wait to read what she has to say in this new version of Odd Girl Out!
What's Your Anger Expression Style? Take this Quiz to Find Out
513 years
by admin
in Uncategorized
Is your child the type to come right out and tell you when he is feeling angry? Does he stuff his anger inside? Perhaps he is most likely to express his feelings in sneaky ways. Or maybe, when he is mad, the whole world knows about it—and better step aside! Whatever your child’s anger style, chances are he has developed it over the years and modeled it after…gulp…much-loved family members.
Take this Anger Styles Quiz to learn about how anger is articulated in your family: (more…)
What’s Your Anger Expression Style? Take this Quiz to Find Out
73413 years
by signewhitson
in anger, angry smile, assertiveness, Being a Mom, counter-passive aggression, family members, hidden revenge, husbands and wives, intentional inefficiency, kids, Parenting, parents, passive, passive aggression, passive aggression by children, passive aggression in families, passive aggressive behavior in families, passive aggressive behavior in relationships, relationships
Is your child the type to come right out and tell you when he is feeling angry? Does he stuff his anger inside? Perhaps he is most likely to express his feelings in sneaky ways. Or maybe, when he is mad, the whole world knows about it—and better step aside! Whatever your child’s anger style, chances are he has developed it over the years and modeled it after…gulp…much-loved family members.
Take this Anger Styles Quiz to learn about how anger is articulated in your family: (more…)
Thank Goodness for Teaching My Daughters to be Self-Sufficient
81513 years
I am down and out with a stomach flu today–graciously shared with me by my daughter who had it two days ago.
Though I am feeling awful, I can’t help but be grateful for two little girls who are doing their best to care for me (even making me a bowl of cereal when eating was the LAST thing I wanted to consider…it’s the thought that counts!) and better yet, to take care of their own needs today. I was thinking that even a year ago when I had a similar stomach bug, I had to muddle through despite the sickness, since my two little ones needed me for so many things.
Now, despite my older daughter resisting every step toward learning to do things for herself (i.e. brushing her own hair, making her own breakfast, hanging up her own used towels,), it sure feels great today to her and to me that she has taken on these milestones of self-care–not matter how grudgingly she entered into them. Today, she is proud of herself for all that she can do on her own (my goal exactly!) and I am grateful that I pressed the issue–especially on a feel-awful-day like today.